My letter to @Wimbledon

Good morning fans!

Every year I write a letter to My friends at the Wimbledon. It’s like a tradition we have together. This year because of bloggings technology I thought you would all be so happy to see it so I am sharing it.

I tried to get in contact with Jim Courier to make the deliveries it but his people said he doesn’t do this. I wish he would make up the mind.


Dear Mr. Wimbledon,

I hope you are well. I am.

Here is My usual anniversary letter with the requests for this year’s draw into the Law and Tennis Associations.

I request NOT to be on My side of the draw:
Nadal – I have spoken with Bjorn Borg and we don’t like him.
Djokovic – Noisy families, keeps winning.
Tom Haas – Has an unhealthy interest in other players and their injuries and he beat me in the Halle.
Andrew Murray – Can beat Me. Everybody around him also seems to be called Murray. Suspicious. This is like Paul Anaconda being called Paul Roger. Please investigate, high priority.
Isner – He beat Me in St. David’s Cup and too tall.
Tsonga – He is the French one that knocked Me out last year. There is also something strange on his head this year.
Raonic – Strange name. Too many vowels.
Nalbandian – Dangerous but a good friend to have around in gangster situations.
John McEnroe – He has beaten Borg and is STILL playing now, can you check whether this is legal?
Bartoli – Her serve motions make me frightened.

I request you CAN put on My side of the draw:
Andrew Roddick – He is usually on My side so OK. His cap is always wet.
Lleyton Hewitt – as above
Baghdatis – as above but without the hat.
Goffin – He is the little boy. You can hype this match up a lot with no serious reason. Yes.
Sue Barker – She won the French Open but is quite small.
Johnathan Lloyd – Apparently he used to like having the photos taken of himself in his undergarments. I am not comfortable with how small the fitting was.
Patrick McEnroe – He had a great career as a doubles player and also part of a famous musical duets with Paul Simon.

Thank you for the usual considerations. As usual, Centre Court only, don’t do a Garros on Me.


16 thoughts on “My letter to @Wimbledon

  1. I even can’t imagine if You’re on the same draw with Bartoli???
    Ummm, then Your name should be changed to? R… Federer?
    Any idea? 😀

  2. I’m surprised you didn’t ask the Wimbledon to ask them to start engraving your name on the trophy & to decorate the centre court in white and gold in your honour? In fact, you should demand Goat posters stuck to the back of all the chairs. I should be on your staff then these things wouldn’t be overlooked.

  3. Tsonga – He is the French one that knocked Me out last year. There is also something strange on his head this year.
    Truly GOAT genius. #shutup #humble

  4. These are all entirely reasonable requests given your GOATness. I know Mr Wimbledon will respond favourably.

  5. Priceless, but you missed out Gasquet, oh goated one. I’d get another letter off to Wimby pronto. Don’t want him snorting all over the court, surely.

  6. Forgive me for saying this, GOAT, but the letter does sound a bit like the list of the Divas. Next it will be an on-call masseuse, a 12-strong hair and make-up team include a personal eyebrow specialist, one box of bendy straws, a special person to carry Your coat and and a special person to hand You towels (not a ballperson).

    Ask Gwen Sta-funny about it …

  7. I still have not forgiven Garros. I can certainly understand your decision not to win thier little tournament since they didn’t have the decency to put you on the main court for all of your matches.

  8. You have moved me to tears, Maestro, with Your so reasonable letter. Can You have the Powers That Be please remove the noisy family? And also that thing on Tsonga’s head? It must surely throw You off Your game if he should end up on court with You.

    I hope Mirky wears the red-and-yellow number she picked up in Paris.

  9. miumiu 靴
    I’m gone to inform my little brother, that he should also go to see this webpage on regular basis to take updated from most recent information.

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