Bonjour Mon Fans,
GOAT here. I am well but please continue to think of me.
As the U.S. Open begins, I would like to dismiss the event. We can put the little asterisk next to it to show it’s not really the U.S. Open.
Andrew and Jamie of the Multiple Murrays are only there because I’m not, and I know they are both making the smirky faces about it.
I have spent this last week watching the Western & Southern Open in the Big Apples, New York, which is neither West nor South.
The ball servants, boys and girls… although I am aware that nowadays there are other genders. I do not know what they are so in order to make the political correctations, let’s call them the Ball Servant People, were wearing the face masks.

We are told by the World Health DisOrganization and highly qualified Medical Doctor Mr. William Gates, that we wear these face coverings “to protect others” suggesting they don’t actually work.
Therefore, the Ball Servant People are protecting the players but the players are not protecting them.
The weather has been like me, hot. So I ask, is it fair to make these fantastic volunteers not breathe properly while running around in the hot weather? Staff and I think not.
I have been making the irritated faces all week about this issue and other things as well, so during the Pretend U.S. Open I will publish more of my rantifications for your pleasure.
For now, I send you my love from my expensive homes, to your small dwelling.
PF xx
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Hi, Feddikins,
You do realise that the longer you don’t play tennis the less likely you are to make it back. Joints start to stiffen up. Still never mind it is time for others to shine. I look forward to your rantifications alongside the *US Open
Hello Pat fan, my joints are oiled with oil so expensive it may make your eyes do the waterings. Love always, PF xx
Hi, Feddikins,
You do realise that the longer you don’t play tennis the less likely you are to make it back. Joints start to stiffen up. Still never mind it is time for others to shine. I look forward to your rantifications alongside the *US Open. Lucky me 2 goes!!
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How nearly lovely to hear from you. I thought you had retired. It is a very unsettling time for everyone but it is the gratification that you are holed up in your palatial bunker suitably masked. I have never seen the smirks of the Multiple Murrays but will say nobody does it better than you. I look forward to your posts during the different US Open and although you’re not there you will be mentioned often by certain adoring sycophants. Have you noticed how the masks really suit the players? I would have had the enjoying of seeing you wearing your gold and bejeweled ones in the interviews. I wish Andy and Jamie of the Multiple Murrays good luck in the Big Apple and have the hoping that you stay safe in your bunker. Your devoted Andy fan. 🎾😷
Hello there Super One! Always a pleasure for you to write to me. No, coving one’s face and being void of human (especially GOAT) expression is never good. Expressions of the facials, the little smiles, are part of our togetherness so I will only succumb if am paid even more money by a sponsor to wear one on the faces. Love and expensive hugs x
So honest revealing true nature. A certain Orange person in Washington could learn from you. “The love of money is the root of all evil” This is often misquoted but you have the reaiisation. Sponsors take note. XX
No need to make the mocking of the personal appearances there, Super One. Nothing wrong with expensive tint now and again xx
You are right of course but the Orange One seems to go the overboarding with the cheaper tint. I am wondering if you have ever met him and if he is a fanatic of yours. 😂😬🥴😎
I assume he is Super One. Let us do the facings, who isn’t? xxx