Bonjour Mon Fans,
GOAT here, I am well, thank you for asking.
I asked staff to turn on one of My television sets this morning and noticed the US Open is still on. I made the surprised faces. I thought after all the big ones had either left or, as in My case, not entered to begin with, there was no point. Having said this, I am glad the organizers are letting the Little Guys have a chance too.
Well what an interesting few days we have had in the world of the tennis. Novak Djokovic made the inadvertatious hit of the ball and this hit a lines-person. We have to be very careful about gender-labelling nowadays guys. Well, there is a men’s tour and a women’s tour which nobody has noticed yet so let’s keep that under our expensive and fashionable hat.
Unsurprisingly Novak was on the receiving end of the criticizations. Poor gentleman can’t do anything right. Mr and Mrs commentators (not all) and journos (most) have it in for him although they are totally impartial. I am making a little cough.
But you fans (I know I have many) should know better. Can we do the calming down faces please. If I had made this same mistake, you would all be making the excuses for me, and rightly so. You’d be saying how unlucky I was and what a loss for the tournament, all of which would be of the correctations. If it was Stanford you’d all be saying how Stanford would be devastated and how he’s such a lovely person, again this would be the truthful faces. If it was Andrew of the Murrays, same again, so unlucky and even more so after all he has gone through, again, totally correct. Rafaello? Yes, same song, different words.
And before you start thinking the, “Yes but…” faces. Do please shut it, I have enough problems without hearing your opinions.
Problems? What problems could I possibly have you ask?
Well, I have recently discovered that my priceless line of rare Rolex watches are useless. A watch has one purpose and every time Mr. Rolex sends me another one I am told that it may lose or gain some seconds a day.
Yesterday a staff member walks into My living quarters wearing a cheap looking timepiece. I don’t pay them enough to make the purchasing of nice things.
“What is it?” I asked with a kind and yet curious face. Sometimes it’s good to see how small people live as it keeps you humble.
He told me the watch was atomic. I took a step back thinking about the Chernobyl radiation faces. He tried to calm me explaining that it receives a radio signal each night and, therefore, is always 100% correct. It was also solar-powered.
Mr. Rolex, Novak’s Seiko has all of these features. With My Submariner I need to ask a staff member to change time zones for Me each time I fly. This means taking it off, handing it to them, then using the disinfectant wipes before it lays graciously on My little wristy.
At that moment I realized that the staff member’s watch is better than all of My watches put together. I know what you’re thinking Mon fans, ‘Yes, but it’s not a Rolex’. But yet, what does this mean? Are we buying a watch or a piece of jewellery? If it is the latter I would prefer to wear some of My crystal bracelets, although they do catch the hairs sometimes. It is still somewhat embarrassing if I have to ask a staff member the time to see if My Rolex is correct.
I am seriously considering My relationship with Mr. Rolex although will not make a decision while they are still paying Me more money than you could ever dream of.
“Rolex, for rich people to let you know they have more money than you.”