Photo of Federer

FEDAL – A Preview

Hallo zusammen, GOAT here. As I sit in My quiet room, small staff member in the corner should I need anything, I share My thoughts with you. Looking out through the window, in a comfy chair, legs tucked underneath the bottoms, I make the contemplations faces about tomorrow. I know you’re all excited, nervous, apprehensionate…

Nick Kyrgios

An Open Letter to Nick Kyrgios

Hello Nick Curious, I wrote this great piece just after My first match today, and before you created more drama and were defaulted. Just proves how great I am, again. GOAT here. I thought it was about time I gave you some free advice as staff and I feel you need some assistance given your…

Wimbledon Scheduling 2018

Hello Everybody Fans! Last night I met with Mr. Wimbledon to talk about the scheduling issues that have arisen since I left the tournament. I wanted to get the latest information to pass onto you about the next couple of days. Here’s how it went. Me: Hello Mr. Wimbledon, thanks for meeting Me so late…

Special Announcement

Hello Everybody Fans! Funtime Fed here. Before the announcement, I would like to thank Stanford for standing in for Me in the French Open, Roland Garros, Paris, France. You all know I’ve never really liked it there, even though everybody likes Me there. You can win today Stanford, remember, this is 2017, not 2008. Today…

I’m Dreaming…

Original written by Irving Berlin – Since improved upon by Me. You’re Welcome I’m dreaming of a Fedal final Just like the ones we used to know Where the foreheads glisten and journos listen To see a really lovely show I’m dreaming of a Fedal final With every fluffy ball I swipe May My days be…

You’re My Best French

To celebrate this year’s French Open I penned a little gem. (Original lyrics, John Deacon. Now improved upon by Me) Ooh, you make Me live Whatever Mr. Wimby can give to Me It’s you, you give me more Ooh, you make Me play now Roland Ooh, you make Me live That’s the best draw That…