Forehands and Foxtrots

Hello Little People, Many of you have been emailing Me and making many demands because I have been rather quiet in the lately times. You are yearning for Me and to make the honestations, I don’t blame you. I chose not to win any majors this year instead focusing on My stubbly faces that I…

A Song Written For Me …

Hello Everybody Fans! As we approach Shang-High My fans have been getting excited at the prospect of seeing Me again. One such fan goes by the name of Cynthia Fan. She wrote Me a lovely little song that I’d like to share with you. If you do not follow her on the twitter I suggest…

Major Announcement

Hello Everybody fans, GOAT here. Today is one of those days where, in years to come, people will be saying, “Where were you when…. ?” I have decided the world is ready for My scriptures. Already a timeless classic, I have written The Book that will grace all species and will exceed the end of time. PseudoFed’s Guide to…

Andrew and Kim’s Wedding Vows

Hello everybody fans! This weekend Andrew and Kim will be married. Staff and I wish them every happiness. As you all know, much of My staff have infiltrated many areas of society, from The White House, Top News Agencies, The ATP and Sesame Street. Through such contacts I can bring you special secrets: GOATileaks. Here I…

A Chrismas Carol

Me Three Kings Me the king of Orient am Staff bear gifts they traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following GOATly star O GOAT of wonder, GOAT of night I am royal beauty so bright Very high seedling, still proceeding Guiding you to thy Perfect Light Born a King on Switzerland’s plain Gold…

Big day for Scotland

Bonjour mon fans, Today is an important day for My fans in Scotland. For those that don’t know, Scotland is a country very near the North Pole. Scotland today will vote on whether they prefer the word, ‘yes’ or the word, ‘no’. To My knowledge this has never been done before. It’s quite a complicated…