Paternity Leave

Ciao a tutti! I send you all the little wave.

You will have noticed that I have been rather on the side of quiet lately. Tennis had to take the back seat of a rather expensive vehicle.

You probably think I’m not like everybody else, that I’m amazing and truly something special. You’d be right. However, like you I have a job. Well, not like you at all, but I do have a job and an employer called Mr. ATP so I am effectively an employee, as much as it pains Me to say it.

As you must be aware I had to take time off recently for the arrival of another set of tweeners. I applied for paternity leave and to My dismay I discovered that in tennis we are still somewhat behind the rest of the world. You probably get more rights from your employer than I do.

While on paternity leave, things ‘at work’ should carry on as though I was still there. I did not attend the Madrid Masters although I fully expected to reach at least the semi-finals if I had chosen to play. Therefore I had an expectation that Mr. ATP would make an arrangement as though I was in the tournament, even though I wasn’t. However, upon checking the results I discovered My name missing.

I am going to contact the tribunals and make a claim for loss of earnings, points and appearance fees as I would have appeared if I had been present.

As glamorous as you think My life is, you’re probably not even close. But as you can see, I still have very difficult times to overcome. In the meantime, after this horrid clay season, Mr. Wimbledon is just around the corners and this excites Me.

See Me soon!
PF xx

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13 thoughts on “Paternity Leave

  1. Hello there. I have been doing the wonderings as to your whereabouts and now everything is clear. You have been a busy boy. No wonder you are disgruntled about the making of the money when you have been occupied making of the whoopie and labouring under false hope of paternity leave. Although not a fan of your tennisings I must congratulate you on your fecundity which as you have noticed begins with the same letter as your surname. I suggest you apply to the Swiss authorities to see if they can help with your problem but it’s a little problem compared to those you may have to surmount in about twelve years. I have told you not to overdo it but you didn’t listen.I hope you enjoy the few days at Wimbledon and then have a long rest. You must be exhausted. Best wishes to Mirky, the girls and your babies. I remain your devoted Andy fan. x

      • Yes Sir ! but i`ve a little confession to make if you don’t mind ? For some unknown reason (maybe because i`m a famous physicist) I was hired by Tournament organisers of Roma to explain tennis scoring system to all players.
        I do remember explaining that matches in this event are best of 3 sets. However , i admit forgetting to clarify that players are allowed to win in straight sets. Little did i know that most players didn`t understand this very well !
        As a result, I notice most players won and lost their matches with a score of 2 sets to 1. I am sorry that this poor explanation on my part might`ve caused a confusion and costed you, Mr Stanley and a few others progress in this Roma event.
        I promise a clearer explanation next time if i am hired again 🙂
        Fan @0try xx 😉

  2. Hiya ! haha marvelous reading your blog. I would like to congratulate you and family for the recent arrival of another set of tweenings.That is a peRFect family set of 6 to love. It doesn’t get better than that !
    Last but not least , i wish you a positive outcome on your tribunal appeal 🙂
    Good luck in Rome and see you soon at RG and Wimbledon !
    Fan @0try xx

  3. What is with lawsuit? If you have another set of tweener , are you going to put up another structure in backyard?

  4. Wondering why your twitter had gone quiet, but it was just the calm before the great post! Now it’s clear that you like tweeners both on and off the court, so will there be plenty more of them to come?

  5. I am pleased to do the writings on behalf of the players who have a chance to earn some euros in your absences. Many players agree that monies should be available for paternity leave, but not if the babies are a result of broom cupboard shenanigans (probably never happen). Mr Nole and Mr McAndrew have asked if money should be available for the walking of the doggies. The Swiss #ONE (sorry for large printings, computer error) also agrees. They think it should have weightings towards past earnings on the mud. S. Raphael is going to start making babies based on his back-allocation. New monies will be available for the grazings and will be decided on an as needed basis. As a GOAT you will return to the #1 allowance. Stanley the Manly cannot eat the grazings and will get nothing. In fact, you might just do the cleanings-up. I hope you find this helpful and encouraging for the sunny days ahead in London 🙂 Yours in humbles #woof

  6. Dear Mr.Pseudofed, having fared so unluckily in your previous 2 tournaments, I appreciate you literally following the recommendation of Mr.Kiplings in his verse fully dedicated to You and Wimbledons: “And lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breath a word about your loss”. Well, You never breath a word about Your losses. Does it mean that You never lose?

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