Pet (GOAT) Peeves

Hello Mon fans,

I thought it was time to make the little waves and say hi from Paris (France).

Even though I have a reasonably good route on My way to the finals, I’ve been a little down lately. The fact that I have to play at all is starting to dwell on the brains. I chatted about it yesterday with Roland and he said that next year he will look at having three draws, two for the other players that reach a semi-final, and the winner plays Me. I said I’ll think about it.

Anyway, I thought I would share what irritates Me a little bit of the times. Pet Peeves I believe they are called but as always fans, don’t buy them, get them from a shelter.

1.
My work tweetings account is @rogerfederer. At the time of staff writing, I still haven’t reached three hundred thousand followers and it’s been nearly a week. Is this some kind of joke? Mirky said that Rafa has over four million followers. I can’t fire Mirky. But really this is not acceptable. Please encourage your family, friends, small children and foreigners to follow Me. Thank you and you’re welcome.

2.
Judy of the Murrays. I heard her commentate during a ladies match on the television set earlier during fedhammockthe week. Did you hear her? Her voice was quite incredible and really did the soothings. I laid down on one of hammocks, asked staff to close My eyes and I started to reminisce about My childhood. Why is this a peeve? She did not mention Me. Commentators usually mention Me regardless of who is playing and sometimes regardless of the sport they are commentating on. Could somebody remind her please if she does this again. Though a couple of days have passed since listening to her voice and I’m still feeling very relaxed and refreshed.

3.
Andrew of the Murrays. Andrew recently made a tweetings about a video on the YouTubes about GOATs. It wasn’t enough that he took My Gold Medal, he’s not in Paris and yet he is still goading Me, or should I say goating?
The only Murray that is not on this list is Jamie so he is currently My favorite.

4.
Alexandra Willis (@alex_willis) is a top journo person. She recently made the tweetings that she travelled from the station to Roland Garros on the back of a motorcycle. This is not acceptable. Our journos should be treated with almost the same respect as Me. She should have had a car waiting for her not a motorbike. Early reports suggest that Mr Harmans (@NeilHarmanTimes) was driving the bike but as yet this remains uncomfirmed. If it transpires that it was him, I may rename him to, Harley Harman.

That’s it for now. I have a match soon against somebody or other. I’m playing on Suzanne Longlong court. I won’t be long long.

PF xxx

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12 thoughts on “Pet (GOAT) Peeves

  1. . . . Moi aussi ! Love it.
    Good luck in the “proper” half of the draw. Have had a small investment on You with my bookmaker. Do I have pay commission to Your #staff if You win, oh GOAT ? Also have a smaller side-bet on your mate Stan.
    Best regards, (“Walton-on-Thames” fan)

  2. Are you too busy with the playings to take time to write to your fans? We don’t want to start the feelings you are not caring about us
    😦

      • Yes, I was noticing you were choosing to have very long match. Good idea to get in some practice but also sometimes is good idea to relax with the writings to remind us how good you are.

  3. Aah,you have the big heart, letting the French seedling win today. This is why you are the GOAT, always thinking of those less fortunate than you.May God Bless you, in case you feel any regrettings.
    Now you will have the time for your other great talent, the writings.
    When God closes a door….
    We are waiting for your humble wisdoms.

  4. GOAT, you will finally give us a real heart attack. I hope your letter to Mr. Wimbledon is more effective. Forget Roland. He’s not your type.

  5. Dearest GOAT,
    I belive we ( the fans ) owe You a collective and joyous thanks for choosing to lose Your match with the Jo Willies (at match point at the end of the third set) so that You can now concentrate more completely on bloggings, tweetings and of course matters such as : which nice cardigans will be selected for the wearings at SW19. And has the staff prepared white compression t-shirts for You instead of black like last year ?(#fashiondont)

    Your title is of course to be defended at Mr. Wimbledon but I am having some of the mild frettings… What seedling are You?…Will the roof at any point do the cheeky openings? Will you be forced to play Little Guys throughout the fortnight (none ranking higher than #325) or has Mr. Wimbledon finally come to his senses and allowed you a seperate draw in which to relax until the other finals of the semis have been completed, at which point the winner of those matches has the task of much dauntings: facing a fully rested and fashionably attired GOAT for traditional indoor climate controlled lawn tennises.

    Here’s hoping the Nike people have outdone themselves with another golden tennis bag (purse) and matching army jacket for the Goat to properly conduct the entrances and gracings of Centre Court.

    Best Wishes, my GOAT

    _C

    • Hello Clayton fan,

      I must say, you really are looking for a job with Me aren’t you? Is this your resume’? You pass with colors that fly!

      Congratulations!
      PF xxx

      • Dear Goat,

        To be honest, when I wrote my post yesterday I thought it was merely to voice my concerns…I didn’t realize that it was in fact the applications for a job on Your staff. But if I do the careful soul searchings, it’s obvious that this is precisely what I wanted in my heart of hearts. This truly is a turning point in my life.

        It really doesn’t come as any surprise that the GOAT – in all his wisdom – would make the analyzings and revealings to me. The only way I could possibly repay You would be to accept a position You deem appropriate for my skill set. I will then promptly make air travel arrangements (coach) to whichever one of Your primary, secondary or vacation homes you choose.
        Thank You again, GOAT, for this opportunity.

        Best,

        _C

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