Hello fans,
I must take a moment out of My busy schedule to dictate an urgent post on My bloggings which will be posted on the interwebs (public). It has been brought to My attention (by staff) that Mr. Harmans of The Times still has not had his straw hat delivered back to him after it recently went missing.
Neil, or Mr. Harmans to his friends, is a fine upstanding member of the community of journalists. He is a best selling author from his new book called Confidentiality of the Courts where he makes the revealings of tennis secrets. Anybody that has spent any time with him knows that he defines integrity, professionalism and pink shirts. You’ll also know if you have spent a day with him that he stands up and sings God Save the Queen before enjoying breakfast every morning.
Whoever has stolen this hat return it immediately. Nothing will change the fact that you have two Spaniards in the final. Next time you’d perhaps try to support your own players, or even better try actually being there when they walk on court looking for support.
I have despatched all the spare elite staff members to Paris (1 member) to help in this investigation. We are not going to leave any croissants unturned. Everything will be done to return this hat back to its rightful owner. If you have any information or knowledge regarding the locality of the hat contact My staff immediately.
Don’t worry Mr. Harmans, we’ll find it.
PF xxx
pseudofedblog.com 
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Poor Mr Harmans! I hope he manages to keep out of the sunshine so that his head doesn’t start matching his shirts!
Good point Mr Clive fan. Perhaps Roland will allow a ball servant to stand behind Mr. Harmans holding an umbrella like they do with players on court. PF xxx
It is so kind of you to take time out of your busy schedule to show concern for the straw hat of Mr Harmant. But worry not as he once told me that he doesn’t wear his hat 1) when he is in the shade. 2) when there is no sun at all and 3) when he is asleep. I hope you get some time to hone your grass court skills in Halle as it is a long year since you won on the lawns of the All England Club. Oh and you lost there as well, didn’t you? If you get a chance to speak to Gerry Weber do tell him I love his clothes and if there are any freebies I love his jackets!! I have read that you are playing doubles with Tommy of the Haas and if you win I will make a small donation to Help the Aged in your names. Regards to pseudomirky and your delightful daughters. I remain. as always, your devoted Andy fan.
Hello Super Grandmother. Always a pleasure (for you). I will tell Gerry the words you have spoken and I am sure he will remove the jacket from his back for you.
I am playing the doubles with Haas yes but I won’t mention that I have the little twinges as you know what he can be like about things of this nature.
All the best at see you at the Wimbledon.
PF xxx
Woof. Or as they would say in Swizzerland, woof. Found your blog Mr Roger. How do you find the time? Long walkies this morning. Tired now. Doggies out like Nole. Enjoy your final. One doggy is called Rafa. We will take him to get his name changed. Woof.
Oh hello Chris fan. Please send the doggy fans My best.
PF xxx
Fear not for Mr Harmans and his pate; he is now at Queen’s and soon to be at the All England Federer Club (AEFC). There he will be wearing the tie and the blazerings and will not be in need of the straw boater. At the AEFC, there is a roof over the Centre Court to protect his delicate scalp (he is far too importmentalised to go to courts of an outside nature) and at Queen’s he is too busy with his media commitments and book signings to venture outdoors. Send spare elite staff (1) home.