I must take a moment out of My busy schedule to dictate an urgent post on My bloggings which will be posted on the interwebs (public). It has been brought to My attention (by staff) that Mr. Harmans of The Times still has not had his straw hat delivered back to him after it recently went missing.
Neil, or Mr. Harmans to his friends, is a fine upstanding member of the community of journalists. He is a best selling author from his new book called Confidentiality of the Courts where he makes the revealings of tennis secrets. Anybody that has spent any time with him knows that he defines integrity, professionalism and pink shirts. You’ll also know if you have spent a day with him that he stands up and sings God Save the Queen before enjoying breakfast every morning.
Whoever has stolen this hat return it immediately. Nothing will change the fact that you have two Spaniards in the final. Next time you’d perhaps try to support your own players, or even better try actually being there when they walk on court looking for support.
I have despatched all the spare elite staff members to Paris (1 member) to help in this investigation. We are not going to leave any croissants unturned. Everything will be done to return this hat back to its rightful owner. If you have any information or knowledge regarding the locality of the hat contact My staff immediately.
Don’t worry Mr. Harmans, we’ll find it.