My One Wish

Dear Mr. Flushings,

I write in relation to the draw of the big American tennis tournament in New York New York.

The GOAT is very upset. Everybody on the circuits knows the rules. I am back at being the number 1 seedling. Djokovic is the number 2 so this places him on the other sides of My drawers. And Murray? Look I know you only have access to NBC who are probably still showing the Olympic Opening Ceremony, but I would have thought you would have staff advise you of what happened in the tennis final. (I chose to lose by the way).

This is not the correct protocol and somehow putting the tall one with too many names, Won Martin of the Potros on the other side does not do the makings up. I will be Frank and state this is just not acceptable. OK now I am Roger again. Nadal has the little problems with his knees. Well guess what? I have the little problem with My anger. It is fortunate My name is not Roger Nalbandian otherwise I would get a Gold Medal for the violent martial art of Shih-Tzu.

I formally give notice that because of your actions I am now very seriously considering not coming back in 12 years time and more seriously I instructed staff to remove you from My Christmas card list of people who are allowed to send Me a card, so don’t don’t even try sending one as it will be sent back. As the great Elvis Presley used to sing, “Return to Mr. Flushings, GOAT unknown”.

I am going to jump on the Charlie Davidson now and make the cruises around the city to do the coolings off. I’m not even going to take all My staff with Me.

Shut Up,

15 thoughts on “My One Wish

  1. Dear #GOAT,

    Simple anger therapy.

    » Make a voodoo doll of Mr. Flushings.
    » Try flushing the loo time and again to ensure you see Mr. Flushings literally drained and flushed down the drain.
    » Repeat process till you –lose– choose to not win against any of those you face.

    The #Humble Lord.

  2. To my highly esteemed, understandably a little outraged, GOAT-boss,

    I am sorry Mr. Flushings was not educated that those items not eligible for Your drawers are supposed to go to Serbian charity.

    Might i suggest we will put Mr. Murrays into Your bag, since he is already in Your drawers as it is? After all, as i am told, the phrase “It’s in the bag” is somewhat of a positive thing.

    Kind regardings,

    PS: I cried over the mere suggestion i would ever be able to rise through the staff ranks. To express how humble that makes me, i will from now on refer to myself as “i” in stead of “I” (exept at the beginning of a sentence, where a capital is obligatory).

    PSPS: Chocolate always does wonders for me when i am down. Maybe it would be worth the effort sending staff to the airport to persuade those damsels to give up the black bag?

    • Hello Little person,

      I have asked staff to make notes with your suggestions.

      Yes work hard and you will slowly with Shirley climb the rankings. Unlike Me that shot straight to the top (obviously).

      I prefer not to talk about the airport scenes.

      Try and enjoy the weekend.

      Your boss, PF

  3. Oh dear, you do sound as if you have the upsets. Is it something to do with the Shitsoo..I do hope not as that can be very debilitating and last for two weeks. You need to calm down and try to make yourself taller. A rack would do it. I’m sure your loyal staff could obtain one from the MuMu and if that reminds you of Murray it was entirely intentional. My grandmotherly advice to you is to stop the moanings and man up. Do not speed in NYC or the city’s finest will lock you up. On the other hand…go for for it you right Charlie and let your hair down. Oops, you can’t do that now!! Speak soon. Supergran x

    • Hello Super Grandmother! You are always full of very insightful advice. I have not heard of the MuMu. Are you coming to NYC to see Me? You can jump on the back of My Charlie Davidson!

      See you soon! xxx

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