The Humble American Road Trip


In between the Cincinnati and going to the Big Apples I have decided to take a road trip across all the countries in the U.S.A. and it has been so exciting. I know you would like to know the highlights.

Obviously I wanted to do it with the big styles so I had a custom made motorbicycle. Of course, it can only be the most famous one of them all, the Charlie Davidson. Why did I have a custom made Charlie? Because on the back I have Mirky, the Kids, Paul Anaconda and staff. Honestly it is amazing. I feel like Erik Estrada making the cruises across the Highways.The only difference is that instead of a “CHiPs” helmet I wanted the big hat that the Cowboys wear. I went into such a store, asked for a 10 Litre hat and after a moment of silence the shopkeeper suggested I had a hat with a propeller on the top. It wasn’t really what I was looking for but once you get up to speed on the Charlie Davidson it’s a lot of fun and I notice everybody looking at me doing the pointing.

Some of My staff wanted to go towards the California but I said no. I will make the honesty and admit that I was afraid of bumping into Jay Lego. The pitch of his voice and his little laugh makes me feel uncomfortable.

Roswell in a Newish Mexico was another highlight. This location is famous for the crashes of the Aliens a long time ago (I think when John McEnroe used to play tennis) and is home of the conspiracies. I’m not sure why everybody says you can never see anything. I went out one night and all the Aliens flocked down as they were excited to see Me and make the congratulations. They are small people which pleased Me as you all know how I feel about people taller than Me.

The most exciting stop was when we came across a great location, which I decided to buy. I hereby announce the public opening of My North American Headquarters which you will find on the East Coast.

You will be pleased to visit and pay homage to Me, buy gifts and also buy the flags that everybody waves in the stadiums, “Shhh, Genius At Work”. I am also announcing the new line, “Shut Up, Genius At Work”. I will use the premises to keep staff for when I need them on My travels to this continent.

Lastly on My way to New York New York I thought I’d go to the White House to see My good friend Mr. Clinton. Strange. Apparently they said he doesn’t live there any more. I thought the man that said this was making the jokes as I was still wearing My propeller hat so I made the dubious faces. I mean, why would you move out of such a big house like that?

Anyway, time to do the checking-in in My usual hotel.

PF xxx

14 thoughts on “The Humble American Road Trip

  1. So fuunny, I can’t stop laughing! Thanks for being so good, I mean so GOAT and still humble :). I love the”Shut Up, Genius At Work”, that’s genius for sure. Oh and could you introduce me all your little aliens fans ? I really want to meet them, to talk about your majesty.

  2. I love the travel entry, Maestro, You really give the flavor of seeing the States roadside. I think the alien peoples were attracted by Your new hat, which You may not know makes the cosmic broadcastings of GOAT brainwaves. I humbly recommend that You wear it on court in New York, to ensure that Your alien admirers can view Your otherworldly play at the US Open. Perhaps Your staff could have a few dozen “Shut Up!” flags on hand to put in their little green 4-fingered fists — just think of the effect as they hover above the court, waving and applauding Your GOATness!
    I hope Your Agent for Making the Communications will post pictures of the Charlie Davidson and the Aliens giving with the greetings. As a very short person myself, I would love to see them surrounding Your Tallness.
    Looking forward to the Open, Maestro, and Your Grand Entrance — perhaps on the Charlie?

  3. Thank you once again for keeping us in touch with the travellings. The term for the bike ridings is “Proper Charlie” which you are now. I loved your hat and suggest you wear it while playing in New York, New York. It should help to keep you cool when you get hot under the collar because of all the tall players you may meet. I would love to visit your new premises when I become part of your staff. I am a very accomplished pillow plumper. I think you suffered the mistakes re the aliens..they were visitors from Little Rock and had no idea who you were. They thought you were an alien because of your helmet and being a proper charlie with your ridings. Lovely to read your ramblings again. I will be doing the usual turnings-off when you are on Ashe or even Court 3. ps Your “Shut up, Genius at Work” is not only inaccurate but inappropriate and displays the Swiss bad manners which the sophisticated and well-mannered Mr Flushing Meadows will find offensive.

    • Hello Super Grand Mother. You’d like to become one of MY staff? I think you want to be the spies and would put a frozen pea under My pillow before the big match! Speak soon!

  4. To my much admired GOAT-boss (not sure “dear” is the right word to address You being a member of staff now, so I chose this one; please advise).

    Just wanted You to know I am still smiling. #youarehired permanently changed my life.
    I thought of running around my mountain yodeling at the top of my lungs of utter joy, but in stead I chose to be humble about it. After all, that is what You teach us by example every day.

    I wonder if You considerd hiring the shopkeeper as one of Your permanent staff as well. I am most certain he would know exactly what to put in Your bag to make You shine even brighter on court.

    Good luck with the draw in a bit. I hope one of Your staff (my colleagues) sent instructions in Serb to a certain little guy doing the grabbings in the sack today. But since he is very friendly with Mr. Andy, I am quite sure he won’t mind being in the same half, leaving Mr. Ferrers to Your kind care.

    Kind regardings,
    Heidi, humble and little as ever

    • Hello little Heidi person. As always it’s your pleasure.

      I am happy you resisted telling and shouting to the world about your great life achievement of being hired by Me. This is the ego which we must all learn to make the recognitions and tame. As you say, learn from Me.

      I like the ideas of hiring the ShopKeeper. You will make the perfect fitting. Just think, in time you will be able to be top Chief training officer fro new members of staff. This is, of course, a long away in the distance. But we all need goals. (I use the term “we” excluding Me”).


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