Would you like to work for the GOAT? #yes

Hello fans from the Cincinnati!

I encourage anybody that has not been here before to visit this beautiful place. For My British fans, there is also a Hyde Park here so you will not feel sick from the home. Cincinnati is like the sandwich fillings in between KFC and Ohio.

We have reached the final! Today I will play Djokovic. I may win today later, or not. I haven’t decided yet. I will let you know after the match.

The main reason for this bloggings before I go on court is to open the large antique wooden doors for the many people who want to join My happy team of staff. Followers of My tweetings will know that I regularly fire staff, this year especially. The team that look after Me is looking like it has been on the big diet so we need to make the fattings up. Would you? Can you? … make the landings of the dream job? I am looking for:

Finishing Executive: This person makes the final touches before I make the appearances. The successful candidate will be a person with style and knows about fashion and white Wimbledon clothes.

GOAT Bag Organizer: I have many of the different things in My on court bag that need to be there and in pristine quality. A portable music player, sun protection creams, personal hygiene tools for the Finishing Exectutive, FedBerry for courtside tweetings, t-shirts, socks, undergarments (Borg), racquets, olives (Greek) and ice cream.

Pillow Plumper: My rest and the relaxations is very important as anybody can probably make the imaginations. And the pillow is a big part of this. This person must have proven experience in pillow case technology. I like my pillows to look like the marshmallows but I don’t want to eat them. Must also illustrate the skill in leaving the little chocolate in the centre of the pillow each night (chocolates will be provided #Lindt).

FedBerry Charger: There is no need to worry, you do not need to look like a electrical piece of equipment with wiry limbs. I make the jokes! No this is a very responsible position of ensuring My FedBerry is always ready, charged up with the spare battery. This person must be the most trusted one as they will have access to My personal and business phones. No tweeting to be done on My behalf.

Window Cleaner: This person will be located in My home in Switzerland. Must be able to clean two thousand, nine hundred and sixty one panes of glass.

There are some other positions but these are the most pressings. If you have the references and think you are up to the challenge get excited! Any applicant with knowledge of Serbian, Scottish and Spanish need not apply. No applicants must be taller than Me.

Please reply to My staff that deal with such things. *

Hugs,
PF xxx

* position yet to be filled.

 

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8 thoughts on “Would you like to work for the GOAT? #yes

  1. #GOAT one thought. Shouldn’t Your tagline be “Confessions of the #humble GOAT” instead of “Confessions of a #humble GOAT”? After all, there is just one GOAT, leave alone a #humble GOAT.

    (With such an important suggestion, am I worthy enough to be part of Your #humble staff?).

  2. My dearest GOAT,

    Of course I was hoping for a non-Tweetings possibility to apply, since I read about You hiring. And of course You have made my innermost whishings come true.

    Reading about the positionings to be filled, I am thinking the following:
    – My being vertically challenged at 5’1″ is my absolute number 1 trump card. I will play that right at the beginning. I solemly promise to You that I will never achieve greater hights. No, I don’t promise, I can actually guarantee on that one.
    – As I do not have a Tweetings of my own, I might be very suitable for the FedBerry job, since I wouldn’t even know how to do Tweetings on Your behalf if my life depended on it.
    – I recomended You wear a thermo undergarment at Mr.Wimbledon and it payed off big time if I may say so. I could therefore be considered for either of the finishing or bag organising positionings.
    – I like to eat chocolate myself. Therefore I will not apply for the pillow plumping job.

    As a reference I will of course invite You to contact my dear friend Peter. He himself might be interested in the window cleaning job, since he hangs around the Alps as it is anyway.

    I will now push the “Post Comment” button, hoping to hear from You soon.

    Kindest regardings,
    Heidi

    PS: I just hope my revealing to You before that I do have some soft Serb spottings will not get in my way. Hopefully my honesty appeals to You and will make You do the disregardings of this minor detail.

    PSPS: Hope You enjoyed Your bagel yesterday. It sure looked like chef prepared it to perfection, in order for You to do the lickings of the fingers.

  3. Oh great #GOAT,

    I makes the #humbles applications.

    » At 6’1″, I am exactly as tall as you, but because I am your #humble follower – I will walk with a stoop. Ergo, not as tall as the great #GOAT I aspire to be. So much so that even my grandmother who gives me a slap on the back whenever I stoop will not be able to make me mend my ways.

    » I am a regular purchaser of your #legendary #GOAT #fan garments. So… … I hope that does the explanations of my willingness to be part of your #GOATourage.

    » I have an aversion for sweets. They give me a tooth ache and I have a morbid fear – and my aversion to sweets has ensured I have never required a dentist visit. So you will not have to invest in chocolates for me.

    » I have my own tweetings, I #humbly #hope you might have seen them. If you have, you’ll know I am a true #fan. If not, you can be safely assured that like a #true #fan, I will not mess with your tweetings too. #confused? Ok, we can look at other positions for applications.

    » Finally… As a vegan, I am a #GOAT friendly person.

    Thank you for the opportunities.

    • Dear K,

      It was your pleasure to make the applications and, of course, I make the familiarities with your tweetings. I have passed your details to My staff for the processifications. In the meantime, I have followed you on the tweeting technology. I can only imagine how happy you must be.

      Yes,
      PF

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