Original written by John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie.
This version based on Bruce Springsteen and lyrics improved by Me (and staff).
(Audio below)

You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry
You’d better not shout, I’m telling you why
PseudoFed is coming to town
PseudoFed is coming to town
PseudoFed is coming with staff

I’m making a list, staff checking it twice
I’m gonna find out whose naughty or nice
PseudoFed is coming to town
PseudoFed is coming to town
PseudoFed is coming with staff

Linesman sees me when I’m tweening
He knows I’m always great
He knows if the ball is in or out
Better be in for GOATness sake
Better be in for GOATness sake

Anna (Winterbottom) better watch out, she’d better not cry
She’d better not pout, I’m telling her why
PseudoFed is fashion next year
PseudoFed is winning next year
PseudoFed is coming with staff

*Tomas Berdych does saxophone solo*

Andrew sees Me when I’m weeping
I live right by a lake
Who’s going to be number 1 next fall?
Better be Me for goodness sake
Better be GOAT for goodness sake

You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry
You’d better not shout, I’m telling you why
PseudoFed will always shout back
PseudoFed will say “shut up”
PseudoFed is coming with staff

Happy Christmas fans!
PF xx