Afternoon Tea and Scones

Hello fans,

I am fine, how are you?

As you may have heard I have been adding extra dates to My tennis calendar that is hanging up in My study at homes. A lot of people in the media have made the speculations that it is My “farewell tour”. I can confirm that they are correct. The tour will end at Wimbledon in 2019. Advance tickets are available at the SW19 Box Office so please ask them.Fed_apron

As we are in the United Kingdoms with the quaint customs of Wimbledon, as well as Me having some extra times on My wrist, I thought it would be fun times to make the indulgences in the cooking!

I thought I would make the laughings with the saucy aprons and get to work sharing My favorite British recipes of Afternoon Tea.

Before we start, we need the ingredients:

For the Scones:
1. 450 grams of flour that raises itself. If you are intolerant to breadcrumbs please see your doctor immediately.
2. 2 tsp of powder for the bakings.
3. A pinch of Esprit du Sel Grey sea salt.
4. 120 grams of cold butter or the alternatives to butter.
5. A generous splashings of milk, dairy or undairy.

For the tea:
1. Tea leaves made by Mr & Mrs Grey or similar.
2. Lemons flown in from Sicily, preferably same day.
3. Fresh Swiss Spring Water.
4. A cup.

Method:
1. Pre-heat one of your ovens to 200C or gas mark 6.
2. Watch Chef tip the flour and baking powders and salt into a large bowl then gesture to him to mix.
3. Using a Swiss timepiece, time Chef as he adds the butter little by little. If he spends longer on one piece than another, fire him immediately and have the standby Chef take over.
4. The butter should be rubbed into the flour using clean fingers, so don’task one of the gardeners.
5. Tell Chef to add the milky substance. Stand back in case he makes the splashings.
6. Now ask him to roll the dough in his hands to the size of tennis balls. Preferably not the ones used at Roland Garros.
7. Ask other staff members to join in and do the same to speed up the process as the tummy may be doing the rumblings by now.
Afternoon-Tea-at-The-Dorchester8. Watch them shape the little dough balls accordingly and bake for 12 mins or until they become the same color as one of your gold watches.
9. Leave the kitchen and retire to your private dining room and get ready to watch Downton Abbey whilst waiting for the table to be prepared with Jam and other nice things.

For the tea, have this prepared when the scones are ready and add a slice of Sicilian lemon. Please be careful whilst drinking the tea so you do not swallow the lemon slice. I learnt this the hard way and staff had to perform the Cowlick Manoeuvre before calling for the ATP physio who suggested I have an injury time-out .

Please do the enjoyings. You’re welcome.

Much love,
PF xxx

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10 thoughts on “Afternoon Tea and Scones

  1. Dear Maestro, I hope you made your investments wisely, because that way of living is kind of high that means expensive. I wouldn’t want to see you have to go down to Buckingham’s or Paul McCartney’s cheap ways. Love you.

  2. Pingback: Afternoon Tea and Scones | lucycervera

  3. I love this. PseudoGOAT rules!!!! I can’t finish my day without reading ur #humble posts on twitter. 🙂 much love, V. #canIhiremyself

  4. I am desperate to know if Nike are to introduce the Saucy aprons in their RF Fall collections. They will fly off the shelves like the shankings from the racquet.

  5. Afternoon tea is indeed an English customary but I don’t indulge. For two reasons 1) I don’t drink tea 2) I can’t bake 3) I have not got the saucy aprons. I do welcome your blogs but there is far too much emphasis on cooking and bakings on tv etc. I would prefer it if you could write about Mr Andrew of the Murrays and revealing the planning for your Retirement party which I would be happy to do the attendings. I probably could organise a carful so there would be other guests rather than just staff. Can’t go without saying this is hysterically funny and gave me much chuckling….almost as much as one day last week. I’m guessing you know what I mean..you always do. By the way have you ever tried a pie and a pint? Real men sometimes enjoy that at teatime. I believe Mr Rusedski makes the pies and the beer come from hops. Your devoted Andy fan.

    • Hello Super Grandmother. Lovely photo of you on Humble Hill. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Did you take your own food or buy from the Wimbledon outlets. Those staff members on Hot Wok certainly are the GOATs of cooking with the woks.

      I’m not sure about the pie and pint, will get staff to look into it.
      PF xxx

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