Hello Everybody Fans!
Last night I met with Mr. Wimbledon to talk about the scheduling issues that have arisen since I left the tournament. I wanted to get the latest information to pass onto you about the next couple of days. Here’s how it went.
Me: Hello Mr. Wimbledon, thanks for meeting Me so late and lovely to see Me.
Mr. W: Hello GOAT. How may I help you?
Me: Why did you put Me on Court 1 on Wednesday? You promised Me you wouldn’t.
Mr. W: Sorry GOAT, we had to appear to be fair and impartial. I’m so sorry. We did everything we could, nice draw, put you on late when it was hot during the first week, and your towels were softer than the other players’.
Me: So what happens with Rafaello and Novak today? Why play under the closed roof when the little sun is shining?
Mr. W: The conditions should be the same as when the match started the previous day.
Me: So they’re going to start at 8pm?
Mr. W: No.
Me: What about when players are switched from Court 1 to Centre in order to finish a match like you have done in the past? Conditions are obviously different in this case.
Mr. W: Would you like a nice cup of tea?
Me: Have you thought about making the final on Monday, the so called, “Ordinary Peoples’ Monday”?
Mr W: No need as we can play on Sunday
Me: Has this been fair on all the players involved? Including Angelique Kerber and Serena Williams? With the semi starting at 1pm today, they won’t know when their final is going to start.
Mr. W: We have some really lovely biscuits, they are made especially for the tournament, would you like one?
Me: Yes please. Tell Me, have you changed anything since 1877?
Mr W: We have a roof on Centre Court. More tea?
Me: What is your priority, the players or the tournament?
Mr. W: Well, obviously one can’t have one without the other, but in terms of priorities we tend to look at it as: You, The Tournament, The Players.
Me: Thank you for this interview Mr. Wimbledon, I will pass this onto all the tennis fans around the world using blogging technology on the World Wide Internets.
Mr W: Oh goodness, you are very modern GOAT. See you next year.
You see mon fans, it was a very pleasant interview given the circumstances and as I was leaving, I was handed the schedule for tomorrow, the Wimbledon 2018 Men’s Final:
2pm: Players come on court. Weather forecast is good. Play begins with roof open.
2:30pm: Play to be suspended and finalists must run a 10K mini marathon.
3:30pm: PseudoFed to come on Centre Court and be interviewed by BBC Host and President of Federer Fan Club, Sue Barker.
4:30pm: After the run, both finalists should be equally tired, which cancels out scheduling mess of previous 2 days, so they continue the match, roof closed.
6:30pm: Play suspended so Cliff Richard can sing to Centre Court
7pm: Standing ovation for Rod Laver
7:15pm: Jamie of the Multiple Murrays plays another Doubles Final.
10:15pm: Mens Finalists have 45 minutes to continue and finish the match. If they fail to do so, Trophy handed to PseudoFed.
I hope this clears up some of the confusion created since yesterday and we can look forward to two great finals.