Latest news

Hello Little Ones, Most of you would have seen that Stefan Edberg and I are no longer together. I broke the news on GOATbook recently: click to read. There are many reasons I made that choice but I can’t think of any of them at the moment. When I do I’ll be sure to let…

Forehands and Foxtrots

Hello Little People, Many of you have been emailing Me and making many demands because I have been rather quiet in the lately times. You are yearning for Me and to make the honestations, I don’t blame you. I chose not to win any majors this year instead focusing on My stubbly faces that I…

Hello, it is Me You’re Looking For…

Well Hello there Everybody fans! A rather large hello from the Big Apples. I’m so excited to play, today, on the first day of the U.S. Open. I write this message as I am waiting for Chef to bring Me a little surprise for breakfast. I will ask a staff member to make the publishings of…

I Will Survive

As Wimbledon commences I have penned a little number for all My opponents that will face Me during the next two weeks, or, however long I choose to remain in the Championships, whichever comes first. I encourage you to use the video at the end and do the singings along. (Original lyric written by Freddie…

Dear Mr. Wimbledon…

Hello Mister Wimbledon, Long time no see, well, about a year actually. As I sit here with staff making the anxious faces about the draw which is to be announced shortly, I would like to discuss some things. You would have seen Roland (the French version of you) gave Me a favourable draw, it even surprised Me.…

The PseudoFed Fashion Store Now Open!

Beep Beep Everybody people! Greetings from the Gerry Springer Open in Halle! Long-time twitter followers will know that I don’t have any problems firing staff. It has reached the point where I now have fired more staff than I employ.  As you can see this is somewhat of a crisis for the GOAT. Therefore, as of…

Gael in a Gale

When I created the world in 14 days, I took the middle Sunday as a day off to relax and do the restations. Something Mr. Wimbledon acknowledges and respects by making the prohibitations of tennis matches on that day. Look, I totally acknowledge the draw I was gifted, though when you expect something it isn’t such…

Mercedes Benz

Hello Everybody Fans! I’d like to thank Mercedes Benz USA for following my personal account on the Twitter. Little bit late to the party but staff forgive you on My behalf. Now we are connected, in that you’re following Me, do you think you could send an engineer over to check some things on the…

Top Ten Signs You’re a GOAT

1. You prefer the taste of Wimbledon grass to any other type of green but you just don’t know why. 2. When people annoy you, you have an overwhelming urge to charge and head butt them. 3. Every time you meet a new fan, you wonder what their t-shirt tastes like. 4. You notice everybody is…