What I really said to Andrew Murray

Hello fans from many places,

I have received a lot of questions in the last day about what I said to Andrew during the final of the Semis in the Australian Open (in Australia). My GOATbox has been flooded with emails from journalists, royals, politicians and ordinary people too. On one hand it is great to have so many people writing to Me, on the other hand it makes it very difficult to find the email to renew the subscription to various fashion magazines.

In the interest of the disclosures here is a transcriptions of the conversation during the match. People remarked that I said the naughty words to him. False. This is what really happened:


Me: Hello Andrew, nice to see you. I believe your last shot was a little too close to make the comforts.

Andrew: Why do you keep calling me Andrew when everyone else calls me, Andy?fedMurray

Me: Did you see the latest episode of Homeland? What do you think will happen with Brody? I personally believe Carrie is not as mad as everybody thinks.

Andrew: What?

Me: Would you care to join Me for a glass of MOAT champagne after the next point? I have a crate delivered everywhere I go as I am their President now.

Andrew: No, I don’t drink during a match.

Me: Chocolates?

Andrew: You’ll have to speak to my Mum about that.

Me: Is it true what that Rafaello Nadal is coming back this year? He spent more time away from tennis than Azarenka does when she takes a time-out.

Andrew: Yes he’s coming back. That’ll be You out of the top 3 before long then.

Me: Are you making the offentions? You know the other day I overheard Mats Winglander and Patrick McEnroe arguing about who likes Me more. I think the argument was interrupted when Sue Barker from the BBC called them and said she beats them both.

Andrew: Are you going to serve any time soon?

Me: Only if you turn off Hawkeye. I hate that stupid thing. Won’t serve until you ask Mr. Umpire to do it. I won’t serve and nobody can make me.


I hope this makes the clarifications. Especially for the journalists. Their job is difficult enough with those uncomfortable chairs in the Media Centre, so staff tell Me anyway.

PF xxx

26 thoughts on “What I really said to Andrew Murray

  1. You have achieved many triumphs of the literatures, Maestro, and given me many of the laughings, but I must tell You this post may be not only the most enlightening but also the funniest of all. You are not so much Master of Zen as Maestro of Zest. I tip my oh-so-Panama hat to You.

  2. As a former teacher of English I am encouraged by this latest offering. The way you have presented it as a piece of drama is interesting and needs further psychological studying. In fact YOU probably need the psychologist now. When marking I did the laughings aloud and almost spilt my coffee. But, see me after class and I will put you straight or do I mean put you in a straight jacket? Love to Mirky and the twins, hope they enjoy their holiday. From your loving Andy fan. x

  3. Enjoyed your explanation of the exchange with the Scottish one.
    I see Miss Azarenka has been trying to have the courage to follow your lace fashion trend. Seems she was a bit indecisive about it in her Final though – one purple, one yellow. #graspthenettle

  4. Do you agree that according to Andrew of the Castle and John Lloyd of tight shorts that in the locker room you are no longer regarded as the world no 2. Respect is now with Andrew of the Murrays.

  5. Dear Mr. GOAT boss,

    I am starting to worry about your friend Stanis. Is staff allowed to tell him that a fifth set can actually end sooner?

    Kind regardings,

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