Happy Thursday Day fans!
We are again in the finals of the semis! As much as this should be a time of rejoice I want to be open with you about some negative emoticons I am feeling in these moments.
This morning a member of staff said to Me over breakfast times:
“Why does everyone say your Slam record is ‘amazing’ for consistently getting this far when all you ever do is play the Little Guys until the semi-finals? Surely it would be ‘amazing’ if you did not reach this far? You are the GOAT after all.”
I found such comments distasteful, inaccurate and offensive. I was so angry I gestured to a more loyal member of staff to shout a them on My behalf. It was so upsetting I was unable to finish My lightly scrambled eggs with foie gras and Chef had to take it away to make the disposings.
However, let’s focus on the positive things like My taking the trouble to choose some questions to answer from My recent #AskTheGOAT competition! Remember the winner of the best question will be followed by Me on the Twitter!
To create the tensions as to who is the winner I will type this bloggings slowly so it takes you longer to read and you will be in the suspensions.
@HannyHou – Disqualified for asking too many questions. You’re fired.
@pauline_hurley – As you noted yourself. Disqualified for too many questions.
I know it’s very unlike Me to make the complimentations outside of the bathroom mirror. But on this occasions I want to say I read every tweetings and they met with My approval and it was difficult to do the choosings.
GOAT Answers: No
GOAT Answers: The first time I was asked to write an Automaticalography I was 4 years of age. My staff advised Me at the time that it was not a good contract and as you know, the rest is written in the books of history. Maybe one day, soon.
GOAT Answers: Obviously No. I chose to not win four years ago other than in doubles with Stanford. I rubbed his tummy afterwards to ensure he felt special. Oh how things have changed. Since St. David’s Cup this year we have hardly spoken. I may choose to get the Olympic Gold for Myself this year.
GOAT Answers: This is actually why I do this. Imagine a tennis circuit world with only Me. Imagine the interviews, press conferences. Imagine the humbleness.
GOAT Answers: You’re getting confused between GOATs and Sheep.
GOAT Answers: Oh Wooffie fan. This would be so exciting for everybody. All guests would be able to buy fashion from the endless shops. Just imagine the white soldier jackets, the watches, the fun time colours! Probably the biggest attraction would be a Cinema Theatre Megaplexes where fans could watch My greatest victories that I chose to win (extra charge applies).
GOAT Answers: Those beneath Me I like to call the Little Guys. It’s easier to make distiguishings this way as they all look the same to Me. How do I decide? It’s actually a complicated process. I actually make this decision when I am match point down. In this moment I start to wonder if I want to win it. If I lose the point then I decide that I didn’t.
GOAT Answers: I don’t know anything about the history of the game other than Mine but yes, I do sometimes feel I was born in the wrong eras because of the fashion times. Have you ever watched the TV Hit series The Mad Men?
GOAT Answers: No I have never taken to people doing the imitations of Me. However, they see unbelievable success and want some too. It’s good to dream if you’re a Little Guy.
GOAT Answers: This is a strange question as I am the same person now as I was then as a little “kid”. I have grown bigger and eat more things. I can drive too. Which is just as well as I have a nice collection out the back. #justsayin.
GOAT Answers: I think just being here. Allowing people to look up to Me. Sometimes it’s good to have things you know you’ll never achieve because it makes you keep trying even though it is without fruit.
Thank you fans! This was such fun. I feel like I have chatted with all of you personally in your own small living rooms.
The winner is… @poornaramani – Congratulations Poorna! Please go and speak to all your friends and family! Tell them what you have achieved in your life!
PF xxx
pseudofedblog.com 
Would you consider entering Olympic doubles by yourself to give the little guys a chance?
Yes
I am desolate that my question was not chosen. Tell me oh mighty GOAT how you would advise me to deals with the pain? #notworthy
It’s funny how many of the questions came from Nadal’s fans: there’s some cheatings going on here, My GOAT… Perhaps your Staff should investigate this!
Your GOATness. I feel so #humble and yes, the pleasure is all mine that You made me so happy by answering my question. I may not have won the prize for the best question, but I quietly think I won in another way. You gave me the best answer. 😉
Wooffie fan. You really are so humble. I may unfollow then follow you, as though you had won! #humble
I feel like the contesting here was fixed! I think my question received the shorts for changing.
I would not tolerate any favours. Mr. Wimbledon knows this. My accountant has checked My library and I can make the assurances everything is OK.
Outsanding questions – as they should be to His Highness… My favourite response: “It’s actually a complicated process. I actually make this decision when I am match point down. In this moment I start to wonder if I want to win it. If I lose the point then I decide that I didn’t.”
Looking forward to you having to make that important decision tomorrow…
I saw a photo of 2 #GOATs, you and Jack Niclkaus- Dont you think it is unfair he gets credit for 18 grand slams victories when he hasnt won on any surface other than grass?
I was almost offended, yes.
Oh man,You have made me so proud and I’m honoured to be the winner 🙂 :)Thanks GOAT..ok let me be #humble and not boast abt this anymore 😉
I think it will not be possible for you to not speak about what you have achieved. It’s actually humble to keep reminding everyone, contrary to the popular believings.
I see on Your tweetings that You haven’t decided the outcome of today’s match yet and that You are torn between winning in 2 or going to see Mama Mia next Sunday. Tough decision, I don’t envy You (even though I normally do).
I feel like today I should do a little revealings of my own. Even though he tried to force the issue of becoming a GOAT himself by eating the holy grass of Mr. Wimbledon last year, I have very big and soft spottings for Mr. Djokovics. So I have still not decided on whether I should wish You good luck for today’s match.
Maybe I should just stick with wishing You not to be defeated after You had matchpoints (yet again).
Hope You are not too angry with me. Maybe knowing that I did cry for hapiness when You won RG in 2009 will make You not fire me.
Allright… You didn’t loose having had a matchpoint.
I do really fullhartedly wish You regain the #1 come next Sunday and for once and for all make dealings with peoples saying Sampras is more GOATy than you over a single, futile, week (ridiculous!). Since You haven’t fired me yet, I will add in trying to keep You from still firing me that I will be crying tears of happiness once You have succeeded.
Many congratulations and kind regards,
little Heidi.
PS: Please when You decide to yield the #1 position in the future return it to Novak.
Heidi, You are a great GOAT fan and love reading your comments but I am afraid you might get fired for telling the GOAT who to return #1 to (assuming he decides to win tomorrow). Besides we all know that of all the little guys the GOAT likes Rafa best! He even took him on his private plan from Madrid to Zurich! Nole is a guy the GOAT doesn’t understand especially the crazy things Nole does on match point. 😀
Little Heidi, I can see you are a big fan of the GOAT and write such wonderful things to him but I am afraid you are asking to be fired! Tsk, tsk telling the GOAT what to do by telling him to return #1 to Novak (assuming he decides to win). Anyway, everyone knows that of all the little people, Rafa is his favorite..they love to giggle together and he even took him on his Solid Gold Private Plane from GOATland to Rafaland. As for Nole, the GOAT doesn’t approve of his tennis especially the crazy things he does on match point. 😀
My apologies dear GOAT. I am new to the bloggings and didn’t think my first comment was accepted by your highness so I reposted. Please feel free to delete the first one.
No. Asking Me to feel free t do something on My own bloggings is a little offensive. However, as I am in the finals of the finals I will make the forgivings, on this one occasions.
I realize the mistake of my ways dear GOAT. Thank you for making the forgivings without a formal request. That is so thoughtful and generous of you. Good luck in the finals of the finals but be kind to the the little guy Murray…it’s his first time in the finals of the finals. Maybe you will decide to let him win one for his home country? Also do you think Mr. Wimbledon is going to close the roof for you again or do you think he will take pity on the little guy?