The Science of Surgery

Having received so much positive feedback following My recent post using the Bloggings Technology that I have, therefore, decided to dedicate some of My time in Melbourne in the creation of a Science Manual. At the end you may print it and have it professionally bound. Keep it somewhere convenient for easy reference! If you study it well, you may be eligible for a GhD.

Incidentally, I was contacted by various science departments from top universities around the world congratulating Me on My previous blog post. They offered Me various Honorary Degrees, all of which, I accepted, including the online ones.

Part Two of My ongoing Science Manual – Surgery

Today we are going to discuss the science of surgery. Something that has been with us for many decades and given Andrew of the Multiple Murrays has recently had to undergo such an experience, I thought it only right to shine lights on the matter.

Andy Murray Hat

What is surgery?
Surgery is when a Doctor fixes something inside the body that is broken. Often this cannot be seen from the outside.

How does the Doctor get inside the body to repair the broken part?
I don’t know. I imagine they have some sort of machine that they step into that makes them very small people for the duration of the procedure.

Does it hurt?
I imagine being made to shrink into a tiny person would feel strange but I don’t think it causes the pain otherwise Doctors would not do it.

How long does it take?
This has many similarities to tennis. Sometimes the procedures can be long, other times not so long. There are also occasions when you expect it to take some considerable time, but it’s over before you know it, a bit like the French Open in 2008.

Why does the Doctor put you to sleep for surgery?
This is because they don’t want you to see how the little person gets into your body.

What is hospital food like?
Given you usually go into a hospital to get well, do not eat the food.

Why do Surgeons wear masks?
So you cannot identify them if something goes wrong.

What are bedpans?
I have seen these and to make the honestations, I don’t know what they are used for. I’ll tell you something though, you don’t want to cook your breakfast in one.

I hope this paper has given you all you need to know about the science of surgery. I appreciate that it is quite heavy going so I suggest you print it out and read it a few times.

Much love,
PF xx

Disclaimer: This paper is a work of science. Please use this knowledge wisely and with care. You may harm yourself or others if you attempt any of the above activities without full preparations. If you hurt anybody, it’s your fault.

6 thoughts on “The Science of Surgery

  1. Wow. First the flat earth and now this. Wow. My brain is hurting. If you weren’t already the GOAT, we’d have to give you the Nobel Prize for genius. But somebody else has to win something once in a while. Well I’ll see you in about two weeks, lifting another trophy, zzzzzzzzzzzzz…… half the players past 30 will be on court with crutches or casts. They probably gave you a bye to the finals of the semis, right? Have fun, PF!!

  2. Thank you for doing the scaring about surgery. It’s the little men I do not want as I prefer them to be taller. I did see a tall surgeon once but it was female, not masked but she should have been! You do the advising about the food. Is that why some people lose weight in hospital? Would they allow me to stay for a month without operating inside me for the quick dieting? I’m not sure where I do the residing have your technology of the shrinking as they cant even shrink the waiting lists. Your country is so advanced as I’m familiar with the cuckoo in the clocks. Clever idea. It is pleasing that you are doing the widening of the mind and passing on but surgery is not one of my favourite topics. Perhaps you could research retirement next and I could do the assistance as I know a little about it. Just get in touch for the necessary. I hope you don’t meet the little men any time soon. I remain your devoted Andy fan.

    • Super Wife person. I read your letter with interest and the beath was bated. Under the expensive umbrella of science, which topic would you like Me to write about next?

      Much love,
      PF xx

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