Having received so much positive feedback following My recent post using the Bloggings Technology that I have, therefore, decided to dedicate some of My time in Melbourne in the creation of a Science Manual. At the end you may print it and have it professionally bound. Keep it somewhere convenient for easy reference! If you study it well, you may be eligible for a GhD.
Incidentally, I was contacted by various science departments from top universities around the world congratulating Me on My previous blog post. They offered Me various Honorary Degrees, all of which, I accepted, including the online ones.
Part Two of My ongoing Science Manual – Surgery
Today we are going to discuss the science of surgery. Something that has been with us for many decades and given Andrew of the Multiple Murrays has recently had to undergo such an experience, I thought it only right to shine lights on the matter.
What is surgery?
Surgery is when a Doctor fixes something inside the body that is broken. Often this cannot be seen from the outside.
How does the Doctor get inside the body to repair the broken part?
I don’t know. I imagine they have some sort of machine that they step into that makes them very small people for the duration of the procedure.
Does it hurt?
I imagine being made to shrink into a tiny person would feel strange but I don’t think it causes the pain otherwise Doctors would not do it.
How long does it take?
This has many similarities to tennis. Sometimes the procedures can be long, other times not so long. There are also occasions when you expect it to take some considerable time, but it’s over before you know it, a bit like the French Open in 2008.
Why does the Doctor put you to sleep for surgery?
This is because they don’t want you to see how the little person gets into your body.
What is hospital food like?
Given you usually go into a hospital to get well, do not eat the food.
Why do Surgeons wear masks?
So you cannot identify them if something goes wrong.
What are bedpans?
I have seen these and to make the honestations, I don’t know what they are used for. I’ll tell you something though, you don’t want to cook your breakfast in one.
I hope this paper has given you all you need to know about the science of surgery. I appreciate that it is quite heavy going so I suggest you print it out and read it a few times.
Disclaimer: This paper is a work of science. Please use this knowledge wisely and with care. You may harm yourself or others if you attempt any of the above activities without full preparations. If you hurt anybody, it’s your fault.