Why I don’t want faster courts


I hope you all enjoyed the End of the World Tour Finals in London which ended Sunday evening.

This is a welcome time of year where I can have a little time off and look forward to some relaxings. I am playing an exhibition soon. When a staff member told me it was in Rio de Janeiro I advised that I can’t play that month as that is when the Australian Open is. Anyway, they rescheduled and I am very excited to travel to Rio so am busy doing the brush ups on My Italian.

I recently announced that I would like the courts (tennis) to be faster. There is a very viscus rumour doing the travellings that I am saying this for personal gain. A small bird told Me that some people think that Paul Anaconda is doing the same with Me as he did with Pistol Peter, that is, maximise My career by shortening the points as I cannot run the way I used to. This is a lie and also it is not true. Allow Me to set the record straight.

I would like to say that as well as playing tennis I am also a tennis fan. I have lots of DVDs of Myself and watch them regularly. So we can say I am a fan, just like you. Well, not quite like you, but you know what I mean. So I know what fans want. There is nothing that brings them to the edge of their seats more than watching Ace after Ace. Or, when I am receiving, 2 shot games. This makes the crescendo with the tension and builds the excitement leading to a release of rapture. Who wants to see a 20 shot rally when the last shot is a shankings? That is just hitting the ball backwards and forwards and it means I have to do a lot of the runnings. Inappropriate. And anyway, I have a very busy life now with things to do. I can’t spend 5 hours on a court any more. I am able to, I just don’t want to, and you can’t make Me.

Please do try and enjoy yourselves in the next few weeks. If you can, come see Me in Brasil for the exhibition matches. If not, I am excited about going to see My great friends in the Down Under in January. Good Day My mates!

PF xxx

9 thoughts on “Why I don’t want faster courts

    • Hello. fake Roger-fed.

      You need to carry a question correctly. right?


      Q. When you were winning your original Masters Cups and these kinds of titles,
      we were talking about being attacking tennis being to the fore. Now we’re talking about defensive tennis as the norm.

      Would you like to see or could you see a day when we talk more about attacking tennis than defensive tennis?

      ROGER FEDERER: Yeah, I mean, it’s easy fix. Just make quicker courts, then it’s hard to defend. Attacking style is more important. It’s only on this type of slow courts that you can defend the way we are all doing right now. I think it’s exciting, but no doubt about it, it’s tough. What you don’t want is that you hit 15 great shots and at the end, it ends up in an error.
      So I think sometimes quicker courts do help the cause. I think it would help from time to time to move to something a bit faster. That would help to learn, as well, for many different players, different playing styles, to realize that coming to the net is a good thing, it’s not a bad thing.
      Then again, the tour has to decide, the tournament directors have a big say in it.
      I’m happy with this court. It’s faster. It’s fine, too. I’ve played on all different speeds. But I think some variety would be nice, some really slow stuff and then some really fast stuff, instead of trying to make everything sort of the same. You sort of protect the top guys really by doing that because you have the best possible chance to have them in the semis at this point, I think.But should that be the goal? I’m not sure.

      I am looking forward to your reply. thanks.

  1. “This makes the crescendo with the tension and builds the excitement leading to a release of rapture.”
    What in the world does that mean?

  2. Maestro, this entry is one of Your very best! I especially love the making with the building to the raptures–how more-gasmic! And so kind of You, thinking of us poor fans having to sit through 5-hr long games of boring rallies. You are truly a Sporty Man of the Year, and #humble, too! Vamos…er, pardon, I mean, Well done, Sir, and enjoy Your relaxings with the Cariocas!

  3. May I commend you on another excellent bloggings, Fed? I know … I’m grateful.

    I am most happy to hear that you have cleared up the little misunderstandings about calling for quicker courts. Self serving? Pfft. We are all aware that the attacking style is more important as it is also important to make it harder to defend. Perhaps You could also call for the introduction of more natural surfaces to quash that self serving rumour too?

    But I digress.

    No … what I would like to talk about is the game of Musical Chairs that You played with Novak last night. You know the one … the music plays and when it stops, you all sit down. All week You had entered the arena as the higher ranked seedling and when you came across the first chair to You, the music stopped, and You sat down. Such fun!! The thing is Fed, the music played a little bit longer last night which gave You the time to sit on the seat further away. But You must have been #confused and still took the place of the higher ranked seedling before the music had even stopped!!!

    This did not go un-noticed by a disgruntled Novak as reported by Christoper Chasings for USO Today … he even went so far as to say that, “I bet if Federer met the President and someone in the room said, “Mr. President, there’s an urgent call for you,” Federer would dig his phone out of his pocket to see who was ringing him.”


    • Wooffie fa, always a pleasure (for you),

      I have been lobbying … OK, My staff have been lobbying My friends in Paris, Monte Carlos, Rome and somewhere in Spain about the clay court season. I mean, what’s the point in it? Clay is a stupid surface and is no where near as difficult as hard and grass. The margins are very large, and wide, and big. Anybody can dominate on clay, I just choose not to.

      Chair of the musicals? Yes I played this at My Birthday parties as a child GOAT. My chair was a different color to everybody else’s and nobody was allowed to sit in it. As for what you’re referring to? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Obviously I wouldn’t make the stoopings to do anything untoward unintentionally.

      Better go, I have a call.

      Much love PF xxx

  4. I am thrilled to be reading your last blog of the year and would like to comment on all your successes in 2012……… The changling of the venues and the dates of tournaments is like a merry-go-round with you calling the shots. Talking about shots you did throw in some excellent wild ones this year. Some must have reached the high seats where the little people sit which must have given them the great excitements. At the 02 I was in the lower tier affording me an excellent view of Janko who wasn’t very well. I did shout loudly for him…perhaps you heard me. I’m glad you have cleared up the question of faster courts. Now you need to turn your attention to the problem of pouring rain drops when playing outside. I know it messes your hair and shouldn’t be allowed. Could you not play carrying an umbrella like Nastase did? Like you I’m a tennis fan and it has been great this year watching Nole winning in Oz, Rafa in Paris, Andy in NY and No 1 Novak winning at the 02. The Olympics were great too with Andy getting that Gold. A good year overall, I’m sure you have the agreeings with me. I hope the matches in Rio will be very energetic and have the desired effect for the Australian Open. I send my regards to Mirky and much affection to the twins. Tell Mirky Rafa is coming back and tell the girls to keep practising their chants for Andy. I remain, respectfully, your loyal Andy fan. xx

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