Hello fans,
It has been some times since I have sent you a bloggings. I imagine your little lives have been waiting with anxiousness for My next news. Wait no more!
You see I needed to take a little vacation after a gruelling and very successful year so far. I have achieved so much and extended My records yet further still. As you all appreciate, I know, a little humble break every month can really give the GOAT batteries a much needed recharge.
I’m here really today to answer some things that everybody keeps asking Me. Why am I not staying in the Olympic Village?
Well firstly I may have been born at night, but I was not born two nights ago. It is not really a village fans. It is a lie and telling lies is very bad. There is no Post Office that has ‘always been there’. There are no shops, especially ones of fashion times. The green grocer is also missing so when you tell your staff it is time for the shopping they will not know where to do this. I will make a bet you will also not find Britain’s top Policeman, Inspector Barnaby, there either.
For Me? I am renting the same humble house for Me and the team. In Britain they have a special phrase for when people are trying to make the tricks, it is, “making the hoodwinks”. I am very wise to this. I know I have already won Wimbledon this year. Mr. Wimbledon is thinking that by getting his staff to change the colours around his grounds that I will not notice it is the same place. It is fun! I play along so not to hurt his feeling.
Are you all ready for the opening ceremony? It really is a lot of trouble everybody has gone to, to celebrate Me. They are even hosting little side events like Track in the Fields, Gymnastic things, the Swims, and so many entertainments for those not lucky enough to have those golden tickets to see Me. Please try to enjoy them too. These athletes have been training for a very long time to provide the side entertainment.
Humbly yours,
PF xxx
pseudofedblog.com 
Not just anxious for Your next news, GOAT – more like utterly bereft!
Thank you for your humble blog. Seems such a lovely time since we’ve heard from you. Did you choose the pink around Centre Court to match your eyes? You should be at the Opening Ceremony and stay late for the enjoyments.
Dear GOAT,
You didn’t mention at all that your friend Stanford will be carrying the Swiss flag? What are your humble thoughts on that?
Sincerely,
Your biggest fan.
Hello Anna! My only thoughts are that Stanford has not yet formally thanked Me after I chose not to carry it.
So funny
Dear GOAT:
What do you think about the draw? Did the tournament organizers give you a gift because your birthday is close?
My dearest GOAT,
Firstly thank You for telling me about being happy to see me back. I am currently staying in the mountains of Austria, to do the last bit of recoverings. But Your message made me smile and did not cause any relapse. Peter is very happy about that too and so are his goats. They don’t mind falling victim to my reaction on Your GOATness though, they seem really understanding. As true goats are.
I am currently watching the side event on the bicycles and understand You decided on sunshine, at least for today. I suppose after arranging a draw with only miniscule guys in Your half (they aren’t even little I dare say) You must be so happy that You didn’t even mind it not raining.
I did miss You in yesterday’s celebrations. Now I was stuck with other little guys carrying these flags. Kind of nice though, that the Spanish little guy decided not to carry his flag, since You decided not too either. He must like You very much.
Wishing You very happy Olimpic gamings.
Kindest regardings,
Heidi
PS: I do wonder whatever happened to that black box. Didn’t hear about it anymore, so I hope the Nike people didn’t dissapoint You with the contents, just to be fired subsequently.
Hello Little One,
I cannot speak of the black box, you will need to ask Nike about that. Suffice to say it’s nothing to dictate to staff to send home about.
Please continue to make the recoverings and be strong for the final.
PF xxx
Since I still don’t have the Tweetings, I am so bold (not bald) to use this space to share with You my thoughts on Your question about the compulsary-ness of the hats in swimmings.
First I thought it would be logical for You to ware the hat, since Your hair is naturally frizzy. Then I thought it would not be logical You wear the hat because it will surely ruin the do You wear underneath. Then I considered the shaving as suggested by AliQuack. I even asked my friend Peter, but he assures me that those shaving the goats normally don’t really do so with much tender loving care and they certainly don’t use the Gilette products You are so fond of (or get a lot of money to act like You are fond of). So I dismissed that line of thought as well.
The only solution I see is that You go looking for another indoor side event. Maybe You could try table tennis? That way Chef would even be able to accompany You (they actually have doubles in that event, so if there was ever a win-win situation this would be it I would imagine).
Another option would be the artistic gymnastics. Indoors, no hats, but with nicely tight clothing to show of your GOATly body. And lots of gold medallions to collect during one Olympic gamings.
Kindest regardings,
Heidi
Hello small person Heidi,
I really think the time says you should arrange for your staff to get you connected with the Twitter technology.
The problems with the hats is that I am currently making the considerations to grow My GOAT hair.
Yes.
PF