Dear Andrew…

Dear Andrew of the Murrays, With help from the great Lionel Richie I have written you a little song leading up to our match tomorrow. I urge you to read it whilst playing the song, link to it on MyTube at the end for your convenience. See you tomorrow! Sail on, down the line About half a mile…

How Many Languages Do You Speak?

Good Evening Mon Fans! As the old saying goes, ‘Another Day, Another Million Dollars’. My twitter followers that have been with Me since the beginning will remember that My preferred method of transport is something discreet and humble like a gold carriage. There’s just something about the feel of it that a complimentary Mercedes AMG just…

A Little Taster…

Hello Little Ones, First of all I’d like to say Happy 4th July to all My American fans. I would say more but I am in the UK at the moment and it would be a little awkward. They don’t celebrate it here for some reason. I thought I’d take a random paragraph from My…

I Will Survive

As Wimbledon commences I have penned a little number for all My opponents that will face Me during the next two weeks, or, however long I choose to remain in the Championships, whichever comes first. I encourage you to use the video at the end and do the singings along. (Original lyric written by Freddie…

Dear Mr. Wimbledon…

Hello Mister Wimbledon, Long time no see, well, about a year actually. As I sit here with staff making the anxious faces about the draw which is to be announced shortly, I would like to discuss some things. You would have seen Roland (the French version of you) gave Me a favourable draw, it even surprised Me.…

The PseudoFed Fashion Store Now Open!

Beep Beep Everybody people! Greetings from the Gerry Springer Open in Halle! Long-time twitter followers will know that I don’t have any problems firing staff. It has reached the point where I now have fired more staff than I employ.  As you can see this is somewhat of a crisis for the GOAT. Therefore, as of…

The Sound of Tennis – By Simon & PseudoFunkel

Hello grass, my old friend, I’ve come to play on you again, Such a vision of Me sweeping, Groundsman sowing seeds while I was sleeping, The vision of Me that was planted in your brain Still remains Within the sound of tennis. In restless dreams I played Nadal On grass and hard and clay –…

Stanford’s Wimbledon Schedule for Second Week (2014)

Happy Sunday everybody fans! The weather here in Wimbledon today has been the little wet so I thought I’d take a moment to relay some informations about My trying to help Stanford’s schedule. As much as I have the little jokes with him, the truth is he is the great friend and top person. I…