Dear Mr. Wimbledon…

Hello Mister Wimbledon, Long time no see, well, about a year actually. As I sit here with staff making the anxious faces about the draw which is to be announced shortly, I would like to discuss some things. You would have seen Roland (the French version of you) gave Me a favourable draw, it even surprised Me.…

The PseudoFed Fashion Store Now Open!

Beep Beep Everybody people! Greetings from the Gerry Springer Open in Halle! Long-time twitter followers will know that I don’t have any problems firing staff. It has reached the point where I now have fired more staff than I employ.  As you can see this is somewhat of a crisis for the GOAT. Therefore, as of…

Gael in a Gale

When I created the world in 14 days, I took the middle Sunday as a day off to relax and do the restations. Something Mr. Wimbledon acknowledges and respects by making the prohibitations of tennis matches on that day. Look, I totally acknowledge the draw I was gifted, though when you expect something it isn’t such…

Empty Seats and Request a PseudoGraph

Bounjour Mon fans, There are a few points that I would like to discuss aujourd’hui. Firstly, yesterday was My third round match and the stadium was about a third empty. Everybody loves Paris and Roland, but could someone be kind enough to remind him that this is a Grand Slam event. Mr. Wimbledon always ensures a packed…

Major Announcement

Hello Everybody fans, GOAT here. Today is one of those days where, in years to come, people will be saying, “Where were you when…. ?” I have decided the world is ready for My scriptures. Already a timeless classic, I have written The Book that will grace all species and will exceed the end of time. PseudoFed’s Guide to…

Security Memo – Roland

Dear Roland, Following My previous blog post that I kindly presented to the world celebrating our friendship, you immediately cause Me the embarrassizations by letting an unauthorized individual on court that proceeded to touch My person. To try and prevent this happening again, I shall list the only people allowed on court when I am in attendance:…

You’re My Best French

To celebrate this year’s French Open I penned a little gem. (Original lyrics, John Deacon. Now improved upon by Me) Ooh, you make Me live Whatever Mr. Wimby can give to Me It’s you, you give me more Ooh, you make Me play now Roland Ooh, you make Me live That’s the best draw That…

Andrew and Kim’s Wedding Vows

Hello everybody fans! This weekend Andrew and Kim will be married. Staff and I wish them every happiness. As you all know, much of My staff have infiltrated many areas of society, from The White House, Top News Agencies, The ATP and Sesame Street. Through such contacts I can bring you special secrets: GOATileaks. Here I…

Mercedes Benz

Hello Everybody Fans! I’d like to thank Mercedes Benz USA for following my personal account on the Twitter. Little bit late to the party but staff forgive you on My behalf. Now we are connected, in that you’re following Me, do you think you could send an engineer over to check some things on the…