The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas Mr. Wimbledon sent to me: A nice bye straight to round three On the second day of Christmas Andrew of the Murrays said to me: 2 Olympic medals and A nice bye straight to round three On the third day of Christmas Novak sent to me: 3 Noisy families 2…

Top Coach Needed

Hello everybody fans, As you may have heard, Paul Anaconda and Me are no longer together. I’d like to say it was good while it lasted. The good news is that I’m potentially looking for a new coach. Recent reports suggest that Andrew of the Murrays is taking time off to play Grand Theft Auto…

Somebody stole My face

Good morning from the Big Apples, I have brought to My attention something very serious and I would like to take this opportunity to use the interweb to spread the words. Over the weekend whilst waiting for My match against, well, I don’t really know who it was, but that doesn’t matter at the moment,…

Gstaad Preview

Hello everybody fans, I appreciate you wanting to know how I am. Very well thank you. The new racquet is performing nicely. Here I am back at homes in Switzerland playing the great Gstaad tournament. I thought I’d give you the quick personal preview: 1. The first photograph is Me. I think I have been…

Afternoon Tea and Scones

Hello fans, I am fine, how are you? As you may have heard I have been adding extra dates to My tennis calendar that is hanging up in My study at homes. A lot of people in the media have made the speculations that it is My “farewell tour”. I can confirm that they are…

My Tips for Mr and Mrs Commentator

Good afternoon, For some reason I seem to have a lot of spare time in these moments. I like to be productive and keep making the improvements not only as a champion but also as a person too, so decided to use this extra time to watch the television set. There’s a tennis tournament on…

My Two Twitter Accounts

Hello everybody fans, or, as we’re approaching Roland Garros we should say, Allo Allo! I will write this only once. Today you have been informed that I have opened another tweetings account @rogerfederer. This was largely an exercise for the PR (Relations of the Public). I don’t know why the surprise. I can have more…