An upsetting first week

Bonjour Mon fans!

It’s been a tough week. I said week, not draw.

I don’t know, sometimes, you do all you can but everything just seems against you and you realize life is just not fair. As you can tell, I feel rather down. You know I always like to make the honestations with you.

This Wimbledon, as usual, was supposed to be all about Me. Lots of hype, commentators riddled with excitement, Sue Barker saying My name as often as another sponsor pays money into my account. I love Wimbledon, but this year feels different, other people are grabbing My headlines. I don’t believe in the conspirational theories but now staff are starting to wonder on My behalf.

Roger Federer

Doing the rememberings of when I felt loved

Nick Curious is making a lot of front page news. He said he intentionally aimed the ball at Rafaello as well as making other meany comments. My friends in the media think this is all delicious because apparently he is box offices. I dare say if he’d aimed his balls and aggression My way instead of Raffaello, the lovely people in the media would be singing a different song.

Lastly but not not leastly, we have Andrew of the Murrays. I swear he’s come back to give Me the irritations. I can see that smirk now. Look, the fact is he retired, we had a farewell party and everything. I even sent him a gift voucher. 5 minutes later not only is he back on (My) court but he’s partnering with Serena. There are only so many minutes in a day for commentators to do the talkings and there’s nothing left for Me.

Serena Williams and Andy Murray

Serena and Andrew talking about Me

So where does that leave Me? I feel alone and unloved. Sure, I have staff, but who doesn’t? I just feel ordinary, perhaps even like you. For you guys this is normal, nobody knows or cares who you are, but for Me it is very difficult to make the coping faces. I feel like giving up, I may as well prepare My own food, put My own socks on each day. This is how bad things have become.

If it effects My game next week I hold Andrew entirely responsibles. I also want My gift voucher back.

Much love,
PF xx

14 thoughts on “An upsetting first week

  1. At least you managed to make Coco’s story about You though, babe. Maybe as the GOAT you could call her your kid…AMIRITE?? And Sue chuckled EVERY time she said your name, so you know you’re still her favourite.

  2. Worth waiting for, Great One!
    Hope You will share Your feelings with us next week, too. Don’t forget, like Rafaello, You are loved around the world. Is Sue Barker any relation to Sue Barking? They look very similar, who knows?

    What a shame Curious didn’t take to heart the words of wisdom You wrote last time. Hope You will leave him out of the Laver Cup, so he can go on dissing everyone.

    You are still the funniest – greatest compliment I can give you.

    • Hello Michelle fan! As you probably know, I receive complimentations every day, people are always so pleased to see Me. So much so that when I look in the mirror I even ask Myself for an autograph. Much love xx

  3. Dear me, you are being the silky puss aren’t you? Or perhaps more the whinging goat. Despite the Sue Barker saying “the great man” every two and a half seconds it is true that other players are doing the capturing of the headlines and chats in the pubs. Nick Curious excites fans, he is intriguing, passionate and sometimes does the wrong behaving. Sadly you are boring. No emotion except when you make the one loud cry and then look sheepish. A sheep in goat’s clothing. As for Andrew of the Murrays and the Serene Lady when they hold court you are definitely relegated. You need to try to acquire a personality, learn how to pull your socks up when you’ve managed to put them on and sweat a little while doing the emotions. That might help but probably won’t be enough. Man up and remember Sue loves you. By the way the gift voucher you had delivered to Andrew of the Murrays had passed its expiry date. I remain your devoted Andy fan. X

  4. So, we are delighted to see that despite everything, You have battled through to the finalings, and where are Andrew of the Murrays and Selina, now, eh? Good luck today, we are all behind You (but not in a pantomime way).

    Keith fan.

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