Hello everybody!
I have the exciting news which you may have seen on your small television sets or MyTube.
I have teamed up with MOAT Champagne to be their Brand Sponsor. They are extremely lucky to have Me and look forward to working with Me.
When I first got into tennis I heard about branding and it gave Me the apprehensions as I thought it might be painful. I consulted with the ATP doctor and he was right, it doesn’t hurt at all!
MOAT first contacted Me on the Facebook via a private message. My Facebook administrator’s assistant picked this up and forwarded it for approval to the head of My Human Resources department. This then went through the usual channels to reach Me. After H.R. it went through Sales, Accounting (large department), Tech support, Style support, Fashion support and Staff support. Three years later it was brought to My attention for final approval. I approved on the understanding that we go for a re-brand and that it must have a ‘GOAT’ stamp. I met them halfway (Dubai) and we settled on MOAT. I am so happy to be associated with this brand, as well as all My other sponsors.
As you know, it’s so important for Me to reach out to the everyday consumer. A staff member questioned whether it was a good idea given I am the top athlete. Not only did she question the association with professional sport and alcohol but also as a role model to children.
Obviously I had her fired. There is nothing wrong with this partnership. The London Olympics this year had McDonalds and Coca-Cola as main sponsors and there was nothing wrong with that either, we all have to eat otherwise we would be very thin. I must make the admissions that this discussion did make Me angry. How else are children going to be motivated to go to their local (and probably cold) tennis courts without the goal of partnerships such as this one day?
Look, it isn’t just Me. Rafaello Nadal (Spanish) now has his sponsorship with the poker gambling people, I now have the best alcohol deal in the world and then maybe another top player can be sponsored by a cigarette company. Then all we would need is My new best friend Pippa to make the planning and organizing and we will have a heck of Rolling Stones party times!
Remember fans, drink responsibly whilst playing tennis.
pseudofedblog.com 
‘I approved on the understanding that we go for a re-brand and that it must have a ‘GOAT’ stamp. I met them halfway (Dubai) and we settled on MOAT. ‘
Hahahaha.
You’re right, as usual. I think Mr Noisy Families should be the new Marlborough man.
Personally I always have a little pop before heading to the courts 🙂
Dearest Mr GOAT boss,
on behalf of the (former) staff colleagues who obviously left this one lying on the shelf a little too long, i hereby formally apologise for not finalising this MOAT-deal in time before the MOAT WTF some time ago.
I am sure though, You will now break the record of most ancient GOAT WTF champ in 2013 and You will break that record every following year for the duration of this MOAT-GOAT treaty.
And while I’m at it: might I humbly thank You for the greatest ever Christmas present. I obviously don’t need to be helped thinking about You every day, but i don’t mind it either.
Have a great trip to the land well known for coffee (do try) and waxing (do not try) and please fly safely (hope You encounter no troubles checking in Your bags; ground stewardesses are known to cause troubles now and then).
Kindest regardings,
little Heidi
PS: Would You please reassure me that the staff member making the comments about alcohol and children was not Supergran (she is always concerned about the twins and she can be somewhat, let we say, direct in her comments)? I would miss her ever so much if she were ever fired.
PSPS: The infamous Uncle Tony seems to have suggested either You or Mr. Noisy Families is up next for injuries. I assume You would suggest it be Mr. NF, but just to be sure: Is Uncle Tony off the Christmas card list?
Hello Little Heidi fan!
It’s always a pleasure for you to write to Me.
I don’t think I need the waxing as My strings are normally OK but that’s for the concern, it was expected.
I can make the assurances that it was not Super Grand Mother making such comments. Although she can be a little sharp, she is the big softie really and almost runs the households.
Better run, everybody has somebody special to see.
Much love,
PF xxx