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Posts Tagged ‘Andy Murray’

Pet (GOAT) Peeves

Posted in RolandGarros, tagged Alexandra Willis, Andy Murray, federer, GOAT, Jamie Murray, Judy Murray, Murray, Neil Harman, roland garros, tennis, Twitter on May 29, 2013 | 12 Comments »

Hello Mon fans,

I thought it was time to make the little waves and say hi from Paris (France).

Even though I have a reasonably good route on My way to the finals, I’ve been a little down lately. The fact that I have to play at all is starting to dwell on the brains. I chatted about it yesterday with Roland and he said that next year he will look at having three draws, two for the other players that reach a semi-final, and the winner plays Me. I said I’ll think about it.

Anyway, I thought I would share what irritates Me a little bit of the times. Pet Peeves I believe they are called but as always fans, don’t buy them, get them from a shelter.

1.
My work tweetings account is @rogerfederer. At the time of staff writing, I still haven’t reached three hundred thousand followers and it’s been nearly a week. Is this some kind of joke? Mirky said that Rafa has over four million followers. I can’t fire Mirky. But really this is not acceptable. Please encourage your family, friends, small children and foreigners to follow Me. Thank you and you’re welcome.

2.
Judy of the Murrays. I heard her commentate during a ladies match on the television set earlier during the week. Did you hear her? Her voice was quite incredible and really did the soothings. I laid down on one of hammocks, asked staff to close My eyes and I started to reminisce about My childhood. Why is this a peeve? She did not mention Me. Commentators usually mention Me regardless of who is playing and sometimes regardless of the sport they are commentating on. Could somebody remind her please if she does this again. Though a couple of days have passed since listening to her voice and I’m still feeling very relaxed and refreshed.

3.
Andrew of the Murrays. Andrew recently made a tweetings about a video on the YouTubes about GOATs. It wasn’t enough that he took My Gold Medal, he’s not in Paris and yet he is still goading Me, or should I say goating?
The only Murray that is not on this list is Jamie so he is currently My favorite.

4.
Alexandra Willis (@alex_willis) is a top journo person. She recently made the tweetings that she travelled from the station to Roland Garros on the back of a motorcycle. This is not acceptable. Our journos should be treated with almost the same respect as Me. She should have had a car waiting for her not a motorbike. Early reports suggest that Mr Harmans (@NeilHarmanTimes) was driving the bike but as yet this remains uncomfirmed. If it transpires that it was him, I may rename him to, Harley Harman.

That’s it for now. I have a match soon against somebody or other. I’m playing on Suzanne Longlong court. I won’t be long long.

PF xxx

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Preview of the French Open

Posted in RolandGarros, tagged Andy Murray, Djokovic, federer, GOAT, Murray, Nadal, Paris, roger federer, roland garros, shut up, tennis on May 25, 2013 | 9 Comments »

Bonjour tout le monde!

I start this preview by saying, see you in the final! And this time I really mean it!

At this moment in times I am still thinking about the draw and staff are having problems wiping the grin off My face. I have smiled for longer than ten minutes so far. It’s the big cheesy grin, which is just as well as nous sommes en France.

Roland, Mon dieu! You have surpassed yourself. When I said in my letter about pushing the envelopes I had no idea you’d already had staff put a stamp on it and sent it overseas! You’ve raised the bar, set the new standard. My goodness the mood you were in when thinking about the draw, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d have put Andy, Jamie and Judy of the Murrays all on the other side of the draw as well! Mr. Wimbledon has always been good to Me, to say the least. But this? This is the future. Merci beaucoup! You’ve done more for Me this year than Paul Anaconda.

Far be it from Me to make the complaints. But you let the little Berdy slip through the net? Any chance we can make the little changes and make the quiet noises as we slip him to Rafaello and Nolay’s side of the draw? Don’t worry Roland, I forgive you, you can’t all be perfect.

But it isn’t just about Me in this moment. I think, Roland, you’ve made the empathy with real tennis fans. Who wants to see Rafaello and Nolay in the final? I know I certainly don’t.

Before I go I need to clear something up as I have received a lot of questions about it. Recently I did an, Ask Me Anything on reddit internet technologies. I think it is a website. Fans were able to ask Me questions. Somebody asked Me, “… if you had an upcoming match against a 2007 Roger Federer, what would your strategy be to win and how do you think you would fare?”

I replied, “… I hope I’m a better player today than I was back then. I feel like I’m a more complete player today. Although my game hasn’t changed much, my experience would allow me fewer mistakes …”

I need to make the clarifications. When I said fewer mistakes, I wasn’t referring to My the first serves in lately, and I certainly wasn’t making the referencing to My healthy unforced error count, nor was I referring to My tournament wins so far this year. Actually, I don’t know what I was referring to.

Until next time (and the time after that time).
PF xxx

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Pre-match interview – Roma

Posted in Rome, tagged Andy Murray, Borg, Djokovic, federer, Murray, Nadal, rafa, roland garros, Rome Masters, tennis on May 19, 2013 | 4 Comments »

I thought I’d publish an interview, in the interests of being transparent.

Journo: Hello PF, nice of you to give me a few minutes before the final today.
Me: I know.

Journo: How are you feeling ahead of the final?
Me: Fine thank you, how are you?

Journo: Um, I’m fine too I suppose. I think what I meant was, how do you feel about your chances playing against probably the best clay court player of all time?
Me: I said yesterday after the match about Nadal, “He is the best mover on clay of all-time, if not Top 2 with Bjorn Borg… “. I didn’t say he was the best player.

Journo: So you perhaps still think that even though he has beaten Borg’s record, he is still level with Borg at number 2?
Me: Yes

Journo: If they are both number 2, then who is number one?
Me: Do you really have to ask?

Journo: You have also beaten Borg’s record but on grass, so using your logic, does this mean you are maybe also equal to him on grass and you’re both number2?
Me: No.

Journo: How have you prepared for today’s match? Maybe watched a few DVDs of past matches against Nadal?
Me: That’s the last thing I’d do.

Journo: Andy Murray may not play at Roland Garros, how do you feel about that?
Me: Andy is a great player and it’s always tough when you have an injury so I hope he recovers quickly and we see him in Paris.

Journo: If Andy is in Paris, it’ll increase the chances of Djokovic and Nadal being on the opposite side of the draw to you, like here in Rome. Is this partly why you want Andy there?
Me: Not telling.

Journo: Lastly, you often say that it’s up to you whether you win or lose a match. Do you think you’ll choose to win today?
Me: I always make that decision nearer the end of a match, I’ll let you know afterwards.

Journo: Thanks again and good luck!
Me: Good luck to you too.

PF xxx

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Planning ahead on the clay surfaces

Posted in RolandGarros, tagged Andy Murray, clay, Djokovic, federer, Nadal, Nalbandian, roger federer, tennis, Tomic on May 9, 2013 | 12 Comments »

Dear Mr. Garros, (may I call you Roland?)

Thank you for your letter of April 27th. Yes, I am very well thank you. I took some relaxation times away from the tennis and at the moment, in preparation for your tournament, playing a small event in Madrid (Spain).

I really do appreciate your hospitality of when I come to the Paris. Obviously I fully agree with your feelings that Rafaello Nadal not being seeded in the top 4. Why should he be? To be honest with you and if I were you, I would also consider lowering the ranking seedlings of a certain Andrew Murray and Novak Djokovic. They haven’t even won your tournament. I have, and I speak French and I like cheese.

You may have heard rumors along the vines of the grapes that my seedling number was numero 3. I contacted Mr. ATP and he said it was a computer tissue related to the millennium bug. Although I use technology like the internet webs, I am not familiar with such technical terms but this is why we have staff n’est-ce pas? The fault has now been corrected. Although it still shows Me as 2 so not a total correction.

Now. Have you any more ideas on how we can continue to upset Rafaello? Your clay now plays fast, merci. The balls are fast (merci Babolat). The crowd support Me and only Me (merci). Last year Madrid made the clay blue, this was very popular, with Me. Can we discuss this when we next have the Skype chat?

Lastly I don’t want Nalbandian as My Head of Security any longer. He certainly showed a lot of the potential during his interview at Queens last year. However, as you know, I only have the best and right now, there is a new Dad on the block who goes by the name on Jonathan Tomic.

Really looking forward to seeing you again, à bientôt.

PF xxx

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What I really said to Andrew Murray

Posted in Australia, tagged Andy Murray, Australian Open, federer, GOAT, Judy Murray, roger, roger federer, shut up, tennis on January 26, 2013 | 26 Comments »

Hello fans from many places,

I have received a lot of questions in the last day about what I said to Andrew during the final of the Semis in the Australian Open (in Australia). My GOATbox has been flooded with emails from journalists, royals, politicians and ordinary people too. On one hand it is great to have so many people writing to Me, on the other hand it makes it very difficult to find the email to renew the subscription to various fashion magazines.

In the interest of the disclosures here is a transcriptions of the conversation during the match. People remarked that I said the naughty words to him. False. This is what really happened:

——————-

Me: Hello Andrew, nice to see you. I believe your last shot was a little too close to make the comforts.

Andrew: Why do you keep calling me Andrew when everyone else calls me, Andy?

Me: Did you see the latest episode of Homeland? What do you think will happen with Brody? I personally believe Carrie is not as mad as everybody thinks.

Andrew: What?

Me: Would you care to join Me for a glass of MOAT champagne after the next point? I have a crate delivered everywhere I go as I am their President now.

Andrew: No, I don’t drink during a match.

Me: Chocolates?

Andrew: You’ll have to speak to my Mum about that.

Me: Is it true what that Rafaello Nadal is coming back this year? He spent more time away from tennis than Azarenka does when she takes a time-out.

Andrew: Yes he’s coming back. That’ll be You out of the top 3 before long then.

Me: Are you making the offentions? You know the other day I overheard Mats Winglander and Patrick McEnroe arguing about who likes Me more. I think the argument was interrupted when Sue Barker from the BBC called them and said she beats them both.

Andrew: Are you going to serve any time soon?

Me: Only if you turn off Hawkeye. I hate that stupid thing. Won’t serve until you ask Mr. Umpire to do it. I won’t serve and nobody can make me.

——————-

I hope this makes the clarifications. Especially for the journalists. Their job is difficult enough with those uncomfortable chairs in the Media Centre, so staff tell Me anyway.

PF xxx

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I’m the GOAT, no, I’m the GOAT

Posted in Australia, tagged Andy Murray, Azarenka, championships, federer, GOAT, Murray, racquets, roger, roger federer, tennis on January 24, 2013 | 15 Comments »

Good morning fans from the Australia!

I am through to the final of the semi’s! It is a wonderful times and I really just can believe it.

It’s been a wonderful journey. I had to make the disclosures in the interview about how scared the little guys are of my playing arm. When I toss the ball in the air they need to make the calculations; left, right, net, long, shankings? So many choices and by the time they have decided I am already sitting down. I don’t need the ball servants to hold the umbrella as I usually play the night matches. I don’t know why this is but I make the nod and the winkings with both eyes.

Also revealed by my good friends at The Tennis Space when they interviewed My best friend, Pistol Peter, is that we hang out sometimes using telephone technology. We catch up, talk about movies and whether we have met the actors and actresses (lady actors). Sometimes we also play the game, “I’m the GOAT”. This is when we repeat the phrase to each other, ‘I’m the Goat’, and then Peter says, ‘No, I’m the GOAT’. We take turns and I usually choose to win.

I told James Courier that I love tennis and watch all the night matches! This is true I can make the confirmations. Though I’m usually in the night matches so really it’s Me, watching Myself, whilst playing! It’s a bit like Kojak watching his own top show! Who loves Me baby. Talking of which, I’d like to thank the Australian Open for rolling out the Fed carpet in the way I have been treated.

And now for the final of the semis against Andrew of the Murrays. I’m trying not to think about it too much and focusing My attention on My shoe laces. If the match turns into the shape of a pear I have a secret tactic! I will do what we now call, “An Azerenka”. This means that I will go off court, have a nice meal, take a hot relaxing bath and maybe take in a movie before returning.

I will decide later if I choose to win this match, as always you’ll be the first to know.

PF xxx

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My open letter to Mr. London and story of recent gift

Posted in Basel, tagged Andy Murray, Djokovic, federer, Finals, London, tennis, Wimbledon, World Tour Finals on October 30, 2012 | 12 Comments »

This is My letter to Mr. London Finals. As always, I like to share as much as possible with My fans so here it is. It was hand-delivered by staff.

Dear Mr. London,

I am fine.

Actually I am not fine. I have the little niggles that are bothering Me at the moment. I cannot go into the details because of Tommy Haas. The second half of the year has not been so good. During Shanghai I had to give up the finals of the semis because of a major weather alert. It was very risky to play in the treacherous conditions and I made some apprehensions. In the end I decided to let it go, it was just not worth it.

Just recently I was in the Basel Masters 5000 in Basel, My “homes” tournament. I have won this grand event for the past 29 years but again, I put safety first. There was an earthquake off the West Coast of Canada that morning and I decided, when facing 3 match points against Me in the tie break, that I should lose. Decided? Yes, you will know from various Press Conferences that it is Me that decides whether to win or lose matches. So, for the sake of Me and My staff I thought it better to leave Basel tout de suite in case the earthquake decided to spread and move towards us. Safety first.

Lastly, I have decided not to play in Paris. Sorry to all My French fans, I know you will be devastated. But in every pillow, there is a gold lining (well, there is in mine anyway) and I would like to tell you that Rafa won’t be there. You may all smile for 10 minutes.

Lastly, Mr. London I would like to inform you of an error for the End of Year World Tour Finals in London, at the end of the year, after the world tour, in London. I instructed staff to make the checkings on your website (internet) and you seem to have only put up one side of the draw and you have mistakenly put Me in it. I recognize most of the names. This must be Djokovic and Murray’s side of the draw. Where are the other ones that I normally play? The Little Guys? I am confident you will correct this as soon as possibles. If you need any assistance do contact My good friend Mr. Wimbledon who will be happy to help.

Lastly, to add an insult to My injuries, I feel that I was recently the victim of a dupe. What I thought was a good friend of Mine, Mr. Mark Hodgkinsons, gave Me a gift of a book he wrote. Mark is the boss of TheTennisSpace.com and they are lucky enough to have Me write some exclusives for them sometimes. He gave Me this gift wrapped in gold paper, a “special preview before the release date” he said. I was so excited! I thought it was a book about Me. I settled down with staff and arranged a small humble unwrapping ceremony. I even got comfortable waiting for staff to read it Me. To My horror I discovered it was a book about Andy Murray! As though I haven’t seen enough of him this year already! However, I think Mr. Hodgkinsons did this as the jokes so I made a small chortle. I imagine he will see Me again soon with a book about Me.

Sort out the draw Mr. London.

You’re welcome,
PF
xxx

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My visit with Bruce Springsteen

Posted in New York, tagged Andy Murray, Djokovic, federer, Mercedes, Murray, Nadal, roger federer, Springsteen, tennis, Thunder Road on September 4, 2012 | 9 Comments »

Because I made the walking over in My last match I had some spare times so called one of My friends Bruce Springsteen. He was so excited and pleased to hear from Me that invited me for the sleep over. I said yes and arranged for staff to pack My RF overnight bag. Whilst there us two great GOATs penned a new and updated version of Thunder Road.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the GOAT presents: Thunder GOAT

My locker door slams, Mirky’s dress waves
Like a vision she texts in the player’s box as the GOAT plays
The commentators singing for the GOAT-ly
Hey, that’s me and I want me only
Don’t pass the line again, I just can’t face Nadal, Nole or Murray again
Don’t run back inside and do a cross court pass, you know just what I’m here for
So you’re scared and you’re thinking that maybe I ain’t that young anymore
Show a little faith, there’s magic in the GOAT
I am a beauty and, yes, I’m alright
Oh, and that’s alright with me

You can hide ‘neath your injuries and study your pain
Take time-outs, throw racquets but you’ll have to answer to Tommy Haas again
Waste your summer playing in vain
For a GOAT to rise from these streets
Well now, I am a hero, that’s understood
All the redemption I can offer, fans, is on any court not made of clay (apart from blue)
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey, what else can I do now?
Except get staff to roll down the window and let the wind blow back My hair
Well, the Mercedes is busting open, these two lanes will take Me anywhere
I got one last chance to make it to Rio
I don’t have to trade in these wings for My wheels
Climb in back, Fed Force One is waiting down on the track

Oh oh, come take my RF brand
We’re going out tomorrow to case the next tournament
Oh oh oh oh, Thunder GOAT
Oh, Thunder GOAT, oh, Thunder GOAT
Lying out there like a GOAT in the sun
Hey, I know the shot is wide, but I can make it if I run
Oh oh oh oh, Thunder GOAT
Sit tight, take hold, Thunder GOAT

Well, I got this racquet and I learned how to make it talk
And My plane’s out back if you’re ready to take that long walk
From your small house to my Palace Porch
The door’s not often open and the ride it most certainly isn’t free
And I know the commentators are desperate for the words I have spoken
And tonight they’ll mention my name, no matter who is playing, no matter who has been broken

There were ghosts in the eyes of all the players I sent away
They haunt these dusty courts in the skeleton frames of burned-out tennis players
They scream My name at night in the street
Pictures of My victory lie in rags at their feet
And in My sparkling garage before dawn
You hear My Mercedes engines rolling on
And when I get to My porch, staff bow
So Mirky, climb in
It’s a town full of Little Guys, I’m pulling out of here to win

Here is the original version:

R.I.P. the great Clarence Clemens and Danny Federici

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Confessions of a #humble GOAT

Posts Tagged ‘Andy Murray’

Pet (GOAT) Peeves

Preview of the French Open

Pre-match interview – Roma

Planning ahead on the clay surfaces

What I really said to Andrew Murray

I’m the GOAT, no, I’m the GOAT

My open letter to Mr. London and story of recent gift

Caption Competition Times!

To My staff in Manhattan

My visit with Bruce Springsteen

Follow My Bloggings via email technology

Tweetings

My Birthday

Important Poll

Archives

Copyright

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