Planning ahead on the clay surfaces

Dear Mr. Garros, (may I call you Roland?)

Thank you for your letter of April 27th. Yes, I am very well thank you. I took some relaxation times away from the tennis and at the moment, in preparation for your tournament, playing a small event in Madrid (Spain).

I really do appreciate your hospitality of when I come to the Paris. Obviously I fully agree with your feelings that Rafaello Nadal not being seeded in the top 4. Why should he be? To be honest with you and if I were you, I would also consider lowering the ranking seedlings of a certain Andrew Murray and Novak Djokovic. They haven’t even won your tournament. I have, and I speak French and I like cheese.


You may have heard rumors along the vines of the grapes that my seedling number was numero 3. I contacted Mr. ATP and he said it was a computer tissue related to the millennium bug. Although I use technology like the internet webs, I am not familiar with such technical terms but this is why we have staff n’est-ce pas? The fault has now been corrected. Although it still shows Me as 2 so not a total correction.

Now. Have you any more ideas on how we can continue to upset Rafaello? Your clay now plays fast, merci. The balls are fast (merci Babolat). The crowd support Me and only Me (merci). Last year Madrid made the clay blue, this was very popular, with Me. Can we discuss this when we next have the Skype chat?

Lastly I don’t want Nalbandian as My Head of Security any longer. He certainly showed a lot of the potential during his interview at Queens last year. However, as you know, I only have the best and right now, there is a new Dad on the block who goes by the name on Jonathan Tomic.

Really looking forward to seeing you again, à bientôt.