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Archive for November, 2012

Hello everybody!

I have the exciting news which you may have seen on your small television sets or MyTube.

I have teamed up with MOAT Champagne to be their Brand Sponsor. They are extremely lucky to have Me and look forward to working with Me.buffon

When I first got into tennis I heard about branding and it gave Me the apprehensions as I thought it might be painful. I consulted with the ATP doctor and he was right, it doesn’t hurt at all!

MOAT first contacted Me on the Facebook via a private message. My Facebook administrator’s assistant picked this up and forwarded it for approval to the head of My Human Resources department. This then went through the usual channels to reach Me. After H.R. it went through Sales, Accounting (large department), Tech support, Style support, Fashion support and Staff support. Three years later it was brought to My attention for final approval. I approved on the understanding that we go for a re-brand and that it must have a ‘GOAT’ stamp. I met them halfway (Dubai) and we settled on MOAT. I am so happy to be associated with this brand, as well as all My other sponsors.

As you know, it’s so important for Me to reach out to the everyday consumer. A staff member questioned whether it was a good idea given I am the top athlete. Not only did she question the association with professional sport and alcohol but also as a role model to children.

Obviously I had her fired. There is nothing wrong with this partnership. The London Olympics this year had McDonalds and Coca-Cola as main sponsors and there was nothing wrong with that either, we all have to eat otherwise we would be very thin. I must make the admissions that this discussion did make Me angry. How else are children going to be motivated to go to their local (and probably cold) tennis courts without the goal of partnerships such as this one day?

Look, it isn’t just Me. Rafaello Nadal (Spanish) now has his sponsorship with the poker gambling people, I now have the best alcohol deal in the world and then maybe another top player can be sponsored by a cigarette company. Then all we would need is My new best friend Pippa to make the planning and organizing and we will have a heck of Rolling Stones party times!

Remember fans, drink responsibly whilst playing tennis.

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Hello fun fans,

Now the tennis season is over I am doing the fun things that I have been listing all year. Today I saw a movie in My homes cinema. The popcorn machine didn’t work at first so I had to send for a new one which was inconvenient as it delayed the start by about 14 minutes.

However, I now am going to debut Myself as a GOAT movie critic. You’re welcome.

The movie was called, The Woman in Black. It was a horror flicks with ghosts and I must say if you like scary things then this will certainly give you the jeeby heebies. I will make the admissions that on several occasions I had to get staff to put their hands in front of My eyes. There were no slashings with blood and guts (like My tennis racquets which do have gut), it was a classic type using the psychology of frightening.

The movie was based on a novel by one of My biggest fans, top UK author Susan Hill who likes Me so much. Follow her using twitter technology @susanhillwriter.

I enjoyed the movie a lot, it was up to My standards which is the highest commendation I can award, you’re welcome.

To offer a balanced review I should offer the negatives. Yes. I would like to offer Susan Hill some advice. After watching The Woman in Black I decided to watch the sequel, Men in Black. This is one of those times when people should not do follow up movies, Susan. The story did not carry on at all and I did not recognize any of the characters. The men in black were nothing like the woman in black. They were not the least bit scary either, well, not in the same way anyway.

I’m off to bed soon, have asked staff to leave the light on.

PF xxx

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Hello,

I hope you all enjoyed the End of the World Tour Finals in London which ended Sunday evening.

This is a welcome time of year where I can have a little time off and look forward to some relaxings. I am playing an exhibition soon. When a staff member told me it was in Rio de Janeiro I advised that I can’t play that month as that is when the Australian Open is. Anyway, they rescheduled and I am very excited to travel to Rio so am busy doing the brush ups on My Italian.

I recently announced that I would like the courts (tennis) to be faster. There is a very viscus rumour doing the travellings that I am saying this for personal gain. A small bird told Me that some people think that Paul Anaconda is doing the same with Me as he did with Pistol Peter, that is, maximise My career by shortening the points as I cannot run the way I used to. This is a lie and also it is not true. Allow Me to set the record straight.

I would like to say that as well as playing tennis I am also a tennis fan. I have lots of DVDs of Myself and watch them regularly. So we can say I am a fan, just like you. Well, not quite like you, but you know what I mean. So I know what fans want. There is nothing that brings them to the edge of their seats more than watching Ace after Ace. Or, when I am receiving, 2 shot games. This makes the crescendo with the tension and builds the excitement leading to a release of rapture. Who wants to see a 20 shot rally when the last shot is a shankings? That is just hitting the ball backwards and forwards and it means I have to do a lot of the runnings. Inappropriate. And anyway, I have a very busy life now with things to do. I can’t spend 5 hours on a court any more. I am able to, I just don’t want to, and you can’t make Me.

Please do try and enjoy yourselves in the next few weeks. If you can, come see Me in Brasil for the exhibition matches. If not, I am excited about going to see My great friends in the Down Under in January. Good Day My mates!

PF xxx

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