Happy Thursday Day fans!
We are again in the finals of the semis! As much as this should be a time of rejoice I want to be open with you about some negative emoticons I am feeling in these moments.
This morning a member of staff said to Me over breakfast times:
“Why does everyone say your Slam record is ‘amazing’ for consistently getting this far when all you ever do is play the Little Guys until the semi-finals? Surely it would be ‘amazing’ if you did not reach this far? You are the GOAT after all.”
I found such comments distasteful, inaccurate and offensive. I was so angry I gestured to a more loyal member of staff to shout a them on My behalf. It was so upsetting I was unable to finish My lightly scrambled eggs with foie gras and Chef had to take it away to make the disposings.
However, let’s focus on the positive things like My taking the trouble to choose some questions to answer from My recent #AskTheGOAT competition! Remember the winner of the best question will be followed by Me on the Twitter!
To create the tensions as to who is the winner I will type this bloggings slowly so it takes you longer to read and you will be in the suspensions.
@HannyHou – Disqualified for asking too many questions. You’re fired.
@pauline_hurley – As you noted yourself. Disqualified for too many questions.
I know it’s very unlike Me to make the complimentations outside of the bathroom mirror. But on this occasions I want to say I read every tweetings and they met with My approval and it was difficult to do the choosings.
GOAT Answers: No
GOAT Answers: The first time I was asked to write an Automaticalography I was 4 years of age. My staff advised Me at the time that it was not a good contract and as you know, the rest is written in the books of history. Maybe one day, soon.
GOAT Answers: Obviously No. I chose to not win four years ago other than in doubles with Stanford. I rubbed his tummy afterwards to ensure he felt special. Oh how things have changed. Since St. David’s Cup this year we have hardly spoken. I may choose to get the Olympic Gold for Myself this year.
GOAT Answers: This is actually why I do this. Imagine a tennis circuit world with only Me. Imagine the interviews, press conferences. Imagine the humbleness.
GOAT Answers: You’re getting confused between GOATs and Sheep.
GOAT Answers: Oh Wooffie fan. This would be so exciting for everybody. All guests would be able to buy fashion from the endless shops. Just imagine the white soldier jackets, the watches, the fun time colours! Probably the biggest attraction would be a Cinema Theatre Megaplexes where fans could watch My greatest victories that I chose to win (extra charge applies).
GOAT Answers: Those beneath Me I like to call the Little Guys. It’s easier to make distiguishings this way as they all look the same to Me. How do I decide? It’s actually a complicated process. I actually make this decision when I am match point down. In this moment I start to wonder if I want to win it. If I lose the point then I decide that I didn’t.
GOAT Answers: I don’t know anything about the history of the game other than Mine but yes, I do sometimes feel I was born in the wrong eras because of the fashion times. Have you ever watched the TV Hit series The Mad Men?
GOAT Answers: No I have never taken to people doing the imitations of Me. However, they see unbelievable success and want some too. It’s good to dream if you’re a Little Guy.
GOAT Answers: This is a strange question as I am the same person now as I was then as a little “kid”. I have grown bigger and eat more things. I can drive too. Which is just as well as I have a nice collection out the back. #justsayin.
GOAT Answers: I think just being here. Allowing people to look up to Me. Sometimes it’s good to have things you know you’ll never achieve because it makes you keep trying even though it is without fruit.
Thank you fans! This was such fun. I feel like I have chatted with all of you personally in your own small living rooms.
The winner is… @poornaramani – Congratulations Poorna! Please go and speak to all your friends and family! Tell them what you have achieved in your life!
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